Well, yesterday we visited the topic of the movies I love. Today, a list of movies that I really hate and the super-logical reasons why. This list is shorter (and fairly all-inclusive) – I am pretty accepting of weak plots and poor acting, and I really do like most of the movies I see. Mostly because I don’t tend to watch movies I don’t think I will enjoy. Here we go:
Edward Scissorhands. I saw this at a sleepover years ago when it first came out on video, and hated every minute of it. First of all, I’m not a big fan of Tim Burton’s movies in general – they are all a little too dark and freaky for me. My main thing with this one is just how depressing it is, not to mention FARFETCHED and UNREALISTIC. GOD. His creator dies before he can give him HANDS. WOE and MISERY, and give me a freaking BREAK. This movie sucks. The end.
The Astronaut’s Wife. N and I saw this in the theater, back in our dating days when I could still talk him into going to the movies I wanted to see. This movie is the reason I don’t get to pick anymore. Even Johnny Depp couldn’t redeem this one. The plot was lame, the acting weak, and I spent the entire time wondering when it would be over.
The Thomas Crown Affair. I’m talking about the one with Pierce Brosnan, not the original starring Steve McQueen. I believe this is the only movie that N and I ever walked out of mid-way through. I expected to really like it, so I don’t know what went wrong. I love me some Pierce Brosnan, and he excels at playing the suave, sophisticated playboy-type. HOWEVER. This movie just kind of lurches awkwardly along and was really quite boring in places. Also, I just don’t buy Rene Russo as the mysterious seductress she was supposed to be. I like her in other movies but she just wasn’t convincing at all in this role. It is crap.
There’s Something About Mary. Raunchy, disgustingly crude humor. UGH. I watched this one under duress, back in the day when I worked at a movie theater and we had free employee showings. I have not seen it since the day before it was released in 1998 but the hate lives on. I am still not a Ben Stiller fan – I think this ruined it for me. I realize I’m in the minority here, because most everyone that I know thinks it is hilarious. Sorry, DO NOT LIKE.
Honorable mentions go to the following movies. They aren’t on my Special Hate List, but I can’t sit down and watch them again either:
2001: A Space Odyssey. Quite possibly the most boring movie ever made. I’m sorry, my dear husband, it is.
Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. So fascinatingly horrible, I couldn’t turn away. Truly a cinematic trainwreck.
Dumb and Dumber. Come on, Jim Carrey. You’re better than this, aren’t you? Well, maybe not.
I must protest…Dumb & Dumber…a classic, and Me, Myself and Irene one of the funniest movies ever…your policy against toilet humor notwithstanding…
After all the hate, no mention of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? I believe What Lies Beneath belongs on this list as well.
My hated movies:
What’s the Worst that Could Happen…you could watch this movie.
Fair Game…who told Cindy Crawford she could act?
Air Force One…although My hate of Air Force One has less to do with the movie itself and more to do with the fact that I felt queasy the whole time and then puked at IHOP after. I hry heave a little every time someone mentions it.
My most hated movie…Napoleon Dynamite. It’s just stupid. Not funny stupid. Just stupid.
OH MY GOD you are RIGHT!! How did I forget Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?! Probably my brain trying to protect itself, that’s how.
And yes, What Lies Beneath deserves an honorable mention for sure. WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT BOX?
Also, you really, really hate E.T.. And apparently you’re not the only one.
Actually, E.T. terrifies the shit out of me. I have never seen it in its entirety, so it cannot technically go on this list. And thank you ever so much for the link with PICTURES. GAH.
E.T. was pretty scary when we were 3 or 4. Unfortunately, my circumstances dictated that I would see it many, many, many, many times that summer.
The part where he’s hiding in the closet with all the dolls and then bursts out screaming still scares the hell out of me. I had a one of those audio books (where you read along with the cassette) of E.T. and I remember fast-forwarding the tape past that part in the book every time I read it.
Of course, I think you should mention your love/hate relationship with E.T. as a small child for all the fine people reading this blog.
Um I would like to throw out there 2 movies you and I walked out on: Ghost Ship and 8 Mile. In my opinion, both big stinking piles of crap. Even the “critically acclaimed” 8 Mile. Sorry, I guess I’m just not sympathetic to the brooding white rapper’s plight.
Great list, although I have to disagree with Scissorhands. Loved that one!
This post would be great for the Movie Madness Carnival that I am hosting at my blog. Click the link for more details and leave me a comment to let me know if you will be participating:
http://dailymishmash.com/2008/coming-soon/