People who drive 15 mph below the speed limit –
during rush hour, no less. In the left lane. Which in Texas, we use for passing. COME ON. How do you not notice that every other driver is blowing past you? Oh, wait. They aren’t. Because apparently you got together with your good buddy and agreed to drive side-by-side, effectively blocking BOTH LANES. HATE.
Small people who have bad timing –
and poop moments before I walk out the door for work. When I am already running very late. In fact, I should be at work at the exact moment of Poop Discovery. So now I have to change a diaper. And after I get that mess cleaned up, baby in question, please do not instantly spit up all over yourself and my skirt so that both of us have to change clothes. So. Late.
People who follow up an e-mail –
with an almost immediate phone call. To tell me the exact same things that the e-mail stated. The e-mail that I ALREADY RESPONDED TO. And by the way, if you are going to A) send a semi-ranty e-mail to someone and B) follow it up with a semi-ranty phone call, please be sure that you are clear on what you are ranting and raving about. Because if you keep going on and on about something that in no way relates to what I asked about in the original e-mail, you kind of sound like a loon. I’m just saying.
People who pronounce things stupidly –
like the country Qatar. How, may I ask, do YOU pronounce that? Because there seems to be a raging debate around here. I am firmly in the “KA-tar” camp, because I think that pronouncing it “Cutter” MAKES YOU ALL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED HICK MORONS. OMG. STOP ALREADY. YOU ARE FEEDING INTO STEREOTYPES THAT TEXANS ARE A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED HICKS AND I BEG OF YOU TO STOP.
You would LOVE driving in Germany! No one drives in the left lane unless they want to get totally run over by a mercedes driving about 200 miles per hour. LOVE IT. In fact, it is ILLEGAL to pass in the right lane over here….every time I come back to Texas I am completely irritated by the morons who putter along in the left lane.
I could do an entire ranty post of driving habits of morons every morning when I get to work.
And I pretty sure that there’s a small person – universe teleconference each day, so they can plot together the best way to derail a paren’ts day or week. It must be those grunts I hear over the monitor but don’t go in his room for, because he settles himself down after they get the details straight.
Nuclear…it only has 1 “u.” Someone should tell our president.
I agree with Kristine. The babies have a mental network that they use to plot against their parents! Latest transmission on the mental network: “After your mom gets you strapped into the carseat, that’s when you spit up everything you have eaten that day!” UGH!! Enough spit up for it to ooze out the strap hole in the back of the carseat and land on the carpet. Another mess to clean up! Anybody want a 7-month old??? J/K!