AE is constantly cracking me up, whether he intends to or not. I submit a sampling of some recent gems:
Scene: Dinnertime, and we’re eating together as a family for once.
N: What did you have for lunch today, AE?
AE: Umm, I don’t know.
N: Well, cheese sticks were on the calendar. Isn’t that what you had? You bought a tray, right?
AE: Yes, I bought a tray but they weren’t cheese sticks.
N: Are you sure they weren’t cheese sticks? Because they usually serve what is on the calendar.
AE: I am very sure. They were kind of like chicken nuggets. Except not round.
N: More like sticks?
AE: Yeah. And they weren’t chicken, either.
N: So they were like chicken nuggets but not. What were they made of?
AE: I think they were cheese.
*****
Scene: Fresh out of the bath, AE is perplexed by a situation he’s having, um, downtown.
AE: Why do I have diaper rash, Mom?
Me: You don’t have diaper rash, you don’t wear diapers. It’s just a little red.
AE: It’s probably because I wore too many diapers as a baby.
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s not it, baby.
AE: Well, why then?
Me: Because it wasn’t dried off good after your bath so it stayed wet, I guess. And got irritated.
AE: [very accusatory] It is RED. Water is not RED. So that can’t be it. You know what it is?
Me: [afraid to ask]
AE: It’s like when you get angry and your face gets red. My pee-pee is very mad right now.
*****
Scene: In the car, trying to pass the time. AE suggests a game of Hangman, which is predictably quite difficult without benefit of pen and paper. We’ve established that AE’s mystery word is 5 letters and contains an S, D and E.
AE: Come on! Five letters, and it is something you can do with your cousins.
N: What do you know about cousins? You don’t really have any.
Me: [remembering Lewiepalooza, where AE played with distant relatives] SLIDE! You can slide with your cousins!!
AE: Nooooooooooooo. DATES!!
N: [trying not to laugh]
Me: [trying not to laugh; failing miserably]
AE: [is very indignant] You know, where you go out and have a good time. With your cousins.
On the first one, you forgot to carry it through to AE’s conclusion that had in fact eaten a cheese-flavored Hot Pocket.
OMG….. SO. FUNNY. And that last one HHHHHHHAHAHA!
If only AE lived in Arkansas. Then he could go on dates with his cousins and it would be the norm!!
too funny, I’m glad you’re sharing this with the world…too funny not to…..my favorite thing that Kaden (my nephew) has said is when he went to get donuts with his dad, and he was still learning to talk so he ended up repeating (very loudly) in the store, Daddy nonuts, Daddy nonuts (instead of Daddy donuts)….embarrassing the hell out of my brother in law
What a funny kid
Those are all awesome.