Every so often AE has free-writing time in class. I’m not certain of the exact assignment, to be honest, but it’s pretty clear there’s no prompt. Free-association first-grade style, I suppose. I think they do it every Monday for sure, as a lot of the entries seem to relate to his weekend activities. At any rate, a few weeks’ worth of entries get sent home at a time, and this time there were some doozies. I thought I’d transcribe them here. You are welcome.
I’ve typed them exactly, so all spelling/grammar errors are his. My comments are in italics.
Dated 2/25/2010: I played with my sister and my dad yesterday. We wathed america’s funniest home videos. I luaghed so hard that I chocked. [Interestingly, I misspell “choked” this exact way every single time I first type it. I did it just now.] We played video games. All of us had dinner at the same time. [There you have it, a glimpse into our fascinating lives.]
Dated 3/1/2010: I woke up on saturday morning and I read a book. about 15 miuets later dad tried to scare me. It did not scare me beacuase I was waiting alredy I was like waiting waiting waiting. [Serious waiting, yo. Although I’m unclear exactly what it was that he was waiting for.] I remembered our family at a beachouse. [Random factoid, FTW!] I slept until nine o clock. [For the record, this child, the earliest riser that has ever existed, has never slept until 9:00 in the morning. Never once in his entire 7.5 years on this planet.]
Dated 3/3/2010: It took a long time for the bus to get to the play. Anamaria kept on hitting me while we where on the bus. When we got there the play was not on yet so me alex s [troublemaker “friend”] and cole [legitimate friend] played simon says. The beast looked like a lion. [WTF does that even mean?] Alex s decided it was a good idea to sit by me and take my jacket away from me on the way back. [SEE?] He punched me in the privates a couple times too. [I think we need to have a talk about the appropriateness of certain subjects in school essays. Also, Alex S. is a TROUBLEMAKER.] Cole took my Jacket and told me he Give it to me when we got in the classroom so alex s would not get it. [Random Capitalization.] Cynthia was right next to me and did not help at all. [Damn you, Cynthia!]
Dated 3/22/2010: I went to the zoo with my mom, dad and my sister. I kind of liked it beacuase it took a lot of time to get there beacuase of the super bad traffic. [See, and I kind of did NOT like it for that very same reason.] We liked it beacuase [he’s quite consistent with the misspelling, at least] we got to see my favorite animals, the cats. As soon as we saw the first monkey cage I thought oh brother. [?]
Dated 4/6/2010: I went out of town on Saturday. As soon as we got there I shouted horray! On monday I got my cavity filled in It was fun. [SO fun. CRAZY fun, as dental fillings are wont to be.] I took 3 minutets. [Granted, it did not take long.] I went on an egg hunt. I got $3.25. [Apparently chronological order – or a logical thought process – is of no consequence.]
And now, the pièce de résistance, the entry that made me laugh out loud, dated 4/12/2010: I Don’t like it when my dad and mom send me down to a boring place [presumably his grandparents’ house, the only place we ever “send” him] and just waste the whole weekend. [He has STUFF TO DO. And we are WASTING HIS TIME.] And that’s what they did. [Horrible!] I had to slap myself 50 times. [I might actually be concerned about this part if I didn’t know my son so well. This is his idea of a hilarious joke. Welcome to my life.]
If the entries are going to keep increasing in quality like this batch did, I’m really looking forward to next month’s collection.