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It has been a week, let me tell you. For everyone, it seems. Here’s an overview, as told in a series of (slightly edited) email excerpts between my sister and me. As you’ll see, our conversations span a wide variety of extremely important topics.

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Monday

Sher: I was in some kind of FUNK this weekend.  I was so rude & all over the place in spurts this weekend with J.  I think he was scared. My hormones were just out of whack or something- I mean, I could SEE and HEAR myself being crazy but I Just. Couldn’t. STOP. I explained it to him, but he is a dude so I think he was just confused.  To tell the truth, I was confused too.  No idea what that was.

Me: Hahaha, it happens. He’ll get used to it, I’m sure. As my own husband puts it (oh so eloquently): Women be crazy.

Tuesday

Me: Figuring out summer camp options for Lex is a NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMARE. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Sher: So what are the options?  I will pick for you.

Me: Well let’s see. We have the $$ options at N’s work – the only ones of which I’m willing to pay for he probably won’t be that interested in (Cooking camp, anyone?). There is a much cheaper option at the park across from our house, but it only runs from 9-3 each day and if they won’t allow him to leave without being picked up by a parent, that isn’t really reasonable (if he can just walk back across the street to the house, we trust him to be there for a few hours alone until one of us can get home). There are all kinds of awesome-looking sleep-away options, but most of them are $$$$$ and the ones that aren’t appear to be catering primarily to inner-city kids. I found one reasonable option that includes lunch and actually runs from 9-5 each day (which is the closest to a full work day we can get, it seems) but it would take 45 minutes to get to each day by bus, not to mention the time to get back to work afterwards. Airfare is still more than I’m willing to pay because they haven’t run a good summer deal yet, AND I discovered that there’s a $100 surcharge for unaccompanied minors so it won’t be as cheap to fly him to Texas as I’d hoped. I don’t suppose YOU have a couple weeks off this summer to come stay with us and watch him. I’m so frustrated and overwhelmed, I’m about ready to beg Mom to come stay the entire summer.

Wednesday

Sher: So the accounting supervisor was just a real asshole to me on the phone for no reason & I am still seething.  And the best part is that the situation includes my crazy coworker so when she gets back from the doctor, the supervisor will probably tell her a skewed version of the story (you know, the crazy woman interpretation) and then crazy woman will come down to me and be all crazy. LOTS OF CRAZY GOING ON. OH OH and yesterday, crazy woman pulled this: I was on my lunch break, but took it at my desk instead of leaving the office like I normally do so I could watch the SNL from Saturday with Justin Timberlake.  But still at lunch- not “out”, but not taking calls, not doing work. I had everything minimized on my screen except the hulu page with SNL playing.  I was leaning back in my chair with headphones in my ears watching it. That would indicate “Hey I am not at work.  It is 12:45 so most likely I am on my lunch break.” to most people.  And to us here, our lunch breaks are sacred because we need the time to unwind and clear our heads so we can do our stressful jobs.  She comes into my cubicle while this is taking place, starts talking about work.  So I have to pause what I am watching, take my headphones out and turn around to look at her dumbfounded “Sorry, I am at lunch right now- can this wait?” To which she makes an annoyed sound & says “Oh I didn’t know you were at lunch.  I guess it can wait.”  HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW I WAS AT LUNCH!?!?!  WHY WOULD I BE WATCHING A TV SHOW ON MY COMPUTER, NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT, IF I WAS WORKING?!?!?!  I wanted to punch her.  Bitches be CRAZY.

Me: The lunch thing is SO annoying. People just assume if you are sitting there you’re working. Happens to me ALL THE TIME. I was lifting a forkful of food to my mouth yesterday when someone came in and goes “You at lunch?” SIIIIIIIIIIGH. It makes me think of Bill Engvall. “Here’s your sign.”

Thursday

Me: OMG, last night’s Psych was not so great at all. I was highly annoyed. I really despise “documentary footage”-type episodes of shows anyway (Supernatural did one this season also and I was similarly displeased) but ugh, Psych just really didn’t bring it with that one. We chuckled at a few parts but mostly I didn’t think it was too funny. Fingers crossed for next week!

Sher: Oh I am totally with you on “documentary style” filming.  I hate it.  If it isn’t making me sick to my stomach, it is just annoying me. I really need to go home.  We are going to a concert tonight- some a cappella group J loves.  I didn’t have to pay for my ticket because a friend last minute couldn’t go & just wanted someone to use it.  The group is pretty good, so it should be fun.  But it would be more fun if they would just perform in front of me while I sit on my couch at home in pajama pants. <- OLD.

Friday

Me: How was the concert? I left early yesterday because I just haven’t felt great all week (stomach is funky and I’m so tired) but I ended up working my ass off from home all afternoon (which was even more work than it would have been from work, because of stupid computer issues and lack of dual monitors). So now I’m still tired, and I’m incredibly cranky on top of it because COME. ON. ONE AFTERNOON. ONE. THAT IS ALL I ASK. I feel as though I’m dangerously close to having a screaming tantrum, like a toddler. EVERYBODY LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU NEED, OR WHAT YOU WANT ME TO LOOK AT, OR WHO HURT YOUR FEELINGS OR WHAT. I DON’T. JUST BACK THE EFF OFF BEFORE I BITE YOU.

Sher: OMG TODAY HAS BEEN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST.  I literally just got bitched out on the phone by a crazy person for no reason.  She wouldn’t talk to me & then said she was either going to talk to someone else or she would cancel the order.  I transferred her and she told my coworker she never wanted to talk to “that woman” again!  I wish I could give you a play by play of that phone conversation.  My coworkers heard my end & were like, You were so nice I don’t understand why she was yelling at you!!  OMG   I WANT ALL THE WINE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. And it looks like you are having as grand of a day as I am.  TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So, yeah. Happy Friday – hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

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