Ways in which I am crazy - NonSoccerMom.com

This blog has been dead for almost 2 years but who cares! Let’s talk about Sons of Anarchy!

NonSoccerMom — Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:33:38 +0000

Hi! Obviously it has been *mumble mumble* months since I posted anything, but it’s never too late to revive this poor blog, right? Especially when I have very important things to talk about. Things like Sons of Anarchy. Forget about boring updates on why I haven’t posted lo these many (many) months, I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SONS OF ANARCHY! I have a lot of thoughts and feeeeeelings!!

Spoilers for Red Rose ahoy – consider yourself warned. And if you’re not caught up you’ll be hella confused anyway because I’m just plunging right in. Here we go…

I think I’m struggling more with Unser’s death than anyone else. I mean, all these people are getting slaughtered and he just was the one person that still had some semblance of a moral code in all this. Well, relatively speaking I guess. Anyway, Jax just SHOT him and they made no further reference to him at all, as if he was never even there to begin with. Gemma had it coming (more on that in a minute) but Unser was a plot twist I didn’t see coming. But he obviously knew that Gemma was about to die and Jax made it pretty clear that he wasnt’ messing around and would kill Unser if he stayed. Unser’s motivation has always been his love for Gemma so I guess he figured there was no point to his life anymore with her death. Plus, he’s been dying of stage 4 cancer for 7 seasons anyway, so.

Then there’s Nero. The scene where he and Jax talk about Wendy and the boys going with him to the farm was great. It was very well done – Jax clearly making plans for his fatherless boys because he knows it is almost over for him. Nero has been a phenomenal father figure for poor Jax, who has only ever had Gemma as a consistent parental role model. Anyway, in the end Nero was trying to protect Jax, not Gemma, and now I’m worried about how he’s going to react because what he told Jax is absolutely right: there’s no coming back from killing one’s own mother. But he already knows, I’m sure he does. He’s not stupid, and he’s been in the life for too long to think it could end up any other way. Nero knew exactly what would happen while he was giving Jax that phenomenal speech in the end of Suits of Woe.

Let’s get back to Gemma’s death, while we’re on the subject. Gemma got off easy. Because cutting her off from her grandsons (and what’s left of the club she knew) would be a fate far worse than death. Jax let her off the hook, basically, and she knew it. And Gemma’s final little speech to Jax about did me in. It definitely did him – I can’t believe he was able to pull the trigger. But she manipulated him right up until the final second, giving him that whole bit about “This is who we are.” The entire scene was very well done, even though I felt like I was being beat about the head with Shakespearean symbolism.

Moving on!

I have several burning questions that better be answered in the finale:

1. What is going on with Jax physically?Â At the very beginning of the episode they definitely made a big deal of the fact that his leg gave out when he stood up from the cot. He also appeared to be limping on that leg on and off throughout the episode (although it is hard to tell with him sometimes on account of The Swagger). Has he been poisoned? Is his heart condition going to catch up with him before Mayhem can? Something else entirely? WHAT IS HAPPENING? This is a big one for me. It just has to be something. It has to be. Maybe it’s going to lead to him losing control and going out in a motorcycle crash, dying the same way his old man did. But that doesn’t make a lot of sense, because on a motorcycle you brake with your hands, not your feet (I think). Anyway, my #1 thought is that it has to do with his heart somehow. Wouldn’t it just be like the show to give us all this buildup, thinking Jax is going to go out in a blaze of outlaw glory but in the end, he just dies of a heart attack?

2. What is Nero up to? Again, a big deal was made of him going into the garage at Jax’s house “looking for tools” and generally being all squirrely and then nothing seemed to come of it. Is he plotting to protect Jax somehow? Is he going to avenge what Gemma’s inevitable death? What is he DOING? Or is it a red herring?

3. What did Chucky do? Tig got off the phone when they were meeting with the Irish and said “That was T-M. Chucky did it”. But we never saw anything come of thatÂ either unless I totally missed something. Plus Chucky’s been getting a bit more screen time in the last few episodes so surely that’s another plot point to be wrapped up.

4. What is the deal with the homeless lady? SheÂ showed up at the vending machine before the scene with Milo the trucker (nice cameo by Michael Chiklis, btw) and Gemma. It’s the same lady that we see throughout the series…and now we know she is/was Rat’s girlfriend’s mom. I’d like a little explanation here. Is she a ghost? Just a sad-sack lady who left her former life behind for some reason? Why does she always show up before some major death?

5. What is the “unwritten bylaw” Jax refers to in the scene with the other SOA presidents?Â They specifically cut out to the boys waiting in Red Woody during that part so I know we’ll get back to it next week but I really have no idea what that could be. Jax clearly is planning for his own death at this point (or is that just what Sutter wants us to believe?) so I am assuming he knows the vote will be for Mayhem. Although I am a little unclear on who exactly gets to make this vote (see: much mumbling, talking in some sort of biker lingo), I do think it is SAMCRO. Jax did say he’d make sure they vote the right way.

Surely all of this will get resolved or I am going to be very disappointed. I expect it will be – Sutter doesn’t appear to do ANYTHING randomly or half-assed. Come on, writers. Don’t let me down.

I still can’t believe that Gemma is dead. Just like that. Omg. And also, possibly I am too emotionally invested in this show. Also also, poor Juice. I’m glad he at least got to finish his pie but you know prison pie can’t possibly be that good. What a way to go. Sigh.

The end.

The post This blog has been dead for almost 2 years but who cares! Let’s talk about Sons of Anarchy! first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

This week, in summary

NonSoccerMom — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 23:27:04 +0000

It has been a week, let me tell you. For everyone, it seems. Here’s an overview, as told in a series of (slightly edited) email excerpts between my sister and me. As you’ll see, our conversations span a wide variety of extremely important topics.

***

Monday

Sher: I was in some kind of FUNK this weekend.Â I was so rude & all over the place in spurts this weekend with J.Â I think he was scared. My hormones were just out of whack or something- I mean, I could SEE and HEAR myself being crazy but I Just. Couldnâ€t. STOP. I explained it to him, but he is a dude so I think he was just confused.Â To tell the truth, I was confused too.Â No idea what that was.

Me: Hahaha, it happens. Heâ€ll get used to it, Iâ€m sure. As my own husband puts it (oh so eloquently): Women be crazy.

Tuesday

Me: Figuring out summer camp options for Lex is a NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMARE. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Sher: So what are the options?Â I will pick for you.

Me: Well letâ€s see. We have the $$ options at N’s work â€“ the only ones of which Iâ€m willing to pay for he probably wonâ€t be that interested in (Cooking camp, anyone?). There is a much cheaper option at the park across from our house, but it only runs from 9-3 each day and if they wonâ€t allow him to leave without being picked up by a parent, that isnâ€t really reasonable (if he can just walk back across the street to the house, we trust him to be there for a few hours alone until one of us can get home). There are all kinds of awesome-looking sleep-away options, but most of them are $$$$$ and the ones that arenâ€t appear to be catering primarily to inner-city kids. I found one reasonable option that includes lunch and actually runs from 9-5 each day (which is the closest to a full work day we can get, it seems) but it would take 45 minutes to get to each day by bus, not to mention the time to get back to work afterwards. Airfare is still more than Iâ€m willing to pay because they havenâ€t run a good summer deal yet, AND I discovered that thereâ€s a $100 surcharge for unaccompanied minors so it wonâ€t be as cheap to fly him to Texas as Iâ€d hoped. I donâ€t suppose YOU have a couple weeks off this summer to come stay with us and watch him. Iâ€m so frustrated and overwhelmed, Iâ€m about ready to beg Mom to come stay the entire summer.

Wednesday

Sher: So the accounting supervisor was just a real asshole to me on the phone for no reason & I am still seething.Â And the best part is that the situation includes my crazy coworker so when she gets back from the doctor, the supervisor will probably tell her a skewed version of the story (you know, the crazy woman interpretation) and then crazy woman will come down to me and be all crazy. LOTS OF CRAZY GOING ON. OH OH and yesterday, crazy woman pulled this: I was on my lunch break, but took it at my desk instead of leaving the office like I normally do so I could watch the SNL from Saturday with Justin Timberlake.Â But still at lunch- not â€œoutâ€, but not taking calls, not doing work. I had everything minimized on my screen except the hulu page with SNL playing.Â I was leaning back in my chair with headphones in my ears watching it. That would indicate â€œHey I am not at work.Â It is 12:45 so most likely I am on my lunch break.â€ to most people.Â And to us here, our lunch breaks are sacred because we need the time to unwind and clear our heads so we can do our stressful jobs.Â She comes into my cubicle while this is taking place, starts talking about work.Â So I have to pause what I am watching, take my headphones out and turn around to look at her dumbfounded â€œSorry, I am at lunch right now- can this wait?â€ To which she makes an annoyed sound & says â€œOh I didnâ€t know you were at lunch.Â I guess it can wait.â€Â HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW I WAS AT LUNCH!?!?!Â WHY WOULD I BE WATCHING A TV SHOW ON MY COMPUTER, NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT, IF I WAS WORKING?!?!?!Â I wanted to punch her.Â Bitches be CRAZY.

Me: The lunch thing is SO annoying. People just assume if you are sitting there youâ€re working. Happens to me ALL THE TIME. I was lifting a forkful of food to my mouth yesterday when someone came in and goes â€œYou at lunch?â€ SIIIIIIIIIIGH. It makes me think of Bill Engvall. â€œHereâ€s your sign.â€

Thursday

Me: OMG, last night’s Psych was not so great at all. I was highly annoyed. I really despise â€œdocumentary footageâ€-type episodes of shows anyway (Supernatural did one this season also and I was similarly displeased) but ugh, Psych just really didnâ€t bring it with that one. We chuckled at a few parts but mostly I didnâ€t think it was too funny. Fingers crossed for next week!

Sher: Oh I am totally with you on â€œdocumentary styleâ€ filming.Â I hate it.Â If it isnâ€t making me sick to my stomach, it is just annoying me. I really need to go home.Â We are going to a concert tonight- some a cappella group J loves.Â I didnâ€t have to pay for my ticket because a friend last minute couldnâ€t go & just wanted someone to use it.Â The group is pretty good, so it should be fun.Â But it would be more fun if they would just perform in front of me while I sit on my couch at home in pajama pants. <- OLD.

Friday

Me: How was the concert? I left early yesterday because I just havenâ€t felt great all week (stomach is funky and Iâ€m so tired) but I ended up working my ass off from home all afternoon (which was even more work than it would have been from work, because of stupid computer issues and lack of dual monitors). So now Iâ€m still tired, and Iâ€m incredibly cranky on top of it because COME. ON. ONE AFTERNOON. ONE. THAT IS ALL I ASK. I feel as though Iâ€m dangerously close to having a screaming tantrum, like a toddler. EVERYBODY LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONâ€T CARE WHAT YOU NEED, OR WHAT YOU WANT ME TO LOOK AT, OR WHO HURT YOUR FEELINGS OR WHAT. I DONâ€T. JUST BACK THE EFF OFF BEFORE I BITE YOU.

Sher: OMG TODAY HAS BEEN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST.Â I literally just got bitched out on the phone by a crazy person for no reason.Â She wouldnâ€t talk to me & then said she was either going to talk to someone else or she would cancel the order.Â I transferred her and she told my coworker she never wanted to talk to â€œthat womanâ€ again!Â I wish I could give you a play by play of that phone conversation.Â My coworkers heard my end & were like, You were so nice I donâ€t understand why she was yelling at you!!Â OMGÂ Â I WANT ALL THE WINE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. And it looks like you are having as grand of a day as I am.Â TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

So, yeah. Happy Friday – hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

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Reboot

NonSoccerMom — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 21:47:55 +0000

I know, I know. Believe me, I am very aware that it has been entirely too long since my last post. I could give you a ton of excuses, but that’s exactly what they would be. The truth of the matter is, I’m just lazy. There’s been plenty to write about – finishing school, going to Arizona for graduation and a mini-vacation, Misty’s pre-k “graduation”, putting the house up for sale, which is of course related to the fact that I am soon starting a new job. In California.

Yep. This post is coming to you from a tiny studio apartment at the edge of Union Square in San Francisco. It’s a far cry from the comfortable familiarity of a mid-sized town in central Texas, that is for damn sure. This place is only temporary (thank the tiny baby Jesus in his tiny little manger because holy crap, some of the nearby neighborhoods are…questionable), but will give me a chance to sort out a permanent situation before the kids arrive in early August. In addition to starting a brand-new job, I have to secure daycare, find Lex a school, figure out how to navigate public transportation, and somehow find a place to live that is all of the following:

A – 3 bedroom

B – (relatively) affordable

C – dog and cat friendly, and

D – located in minimally sketchy surroundings

This will be harder than you’d think.

The logistics are going to be a nightmare, there’s no doubt about it. Not to mention, everything about living in an urban area is a departure from what I’m accustomed to. It will take an entire readjustment to my way of thinking before I can call this city home. I’ll have to get used to the fact that it will take ages to get where I’m going, I’ll have to wrangle two kids (one scatterbrained, one mulishly stubborn) using public transportation on the regular, everything costs an arm and a leg (except the groceries at Trader Joe’s, HUZZAH!), and there are incredibly vocal crazy people everywhere. No, really. EVERYWHERE.

But! I’m optimistic. I love a challenge, which is probably obvious otherwise I wouldn’t have accepted a job thousands of miles away in the first place. It’s a great opportunity to do something I’ve always wanted, and I’m grateful to have a husband that is willing to take the plunge along with me. The kids seem excited, as much as they can be with limited comprehension of what this actually MEANS to their wee lives, and I’m absolutely positive it will all work out fine in the end. We’ll move in, get settled, and soon SF will feel just as much home as any other place.

It will be an adjustment, but I’m a firm believer that anything worth having is worth working for. Complacency and acceptance of the status quo are boring to me, and the only way to live to the fullest is by changing up the norm. I’ll of course miss my “old” life – I had worked at that job for over 8 years and it was comfortable. Frustrating and crazy-making at (many) times, but at least I knew what I was doing. I’ve left all of my friends and family behind – no more weekend jaunts to my parents’ place just because the kids need a change of scenery. All of that is over now, and it is time for a new beginning.

That said, my goal is to write here far, far more often than before. Like near-daily, at least at first while I’m here alone. I’ll certainly have more time on my hands, and may as well use it. This blog won’t be just a place for me to moan and whine (as much) anymore (oh, who am I kidding. Come for the stories and brilliant commentary, stay for the bitching) – it can be a useful place to keep friends and family caught up on my life. Those who care to know, anyway. And if you fall into that category, then I promise to try and make it worth your while.

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In which we are crazy people

NonSoccerMom — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 14:42:01 +0000

Yesterday my entire family was getting together for lunch at my aunt’s house in The Woodlands.Â And I’ve been looking at cars, and found one that interested me at a dealership there.Â So after lunch, N and I left the kids in the capable and willing hands of my relatives and headed out.

Just to look.

And possibly test-drive.

You see where this is going.

It’s a BMW X5.Â And I love it.Â LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it.Â And good thing too because I’ll be driving it until I die, but oh, it will be WORTH IT.

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Apologies to all you November babies

NonSoccerMom — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:38:50 +0000

Today I had the following e-mail exchange with my sister:

Sher: I want Thanksgiving:

Me: Thanksgiving does sound good, as much as I hate the month of November in general.

Sher: You hate the month of November? Whatever for? 1. Cool things always seem to happen in November. 2. It is the month before Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. 3. It goes by fast because of the giant vacation to look forward to at the end of the month. Explain.

Me: It is stupid! And orange! And filled with pilgrims and Indians and cornucopias! Perhaps my childhood hatred of all things pilgrim is clouding my judgment a bit.

Sher: WHAT did Mom and Dad DO to you before I was born???? All of those things are awesome! How can you not look at a cornucopia and have the warm fuzzies?

Me: HAHAHAHA! I don’t know! I just HATED learning about pilgrims and the Mayflower and the first Thanksgiving SO VERY MUCH as a kid. And now, on November 1, I become surly for a 30-day period. Well, surlier than usual anyway. My husband thinks I am a freak.

Sher: OMG you are CHANDLER. Except Dad is not a Vegas Burlesque dancer.

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NonSoccerMom and the Rock Candy of Doom

NonSoccerMom — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:20:50 +0000

As anyone who follows me on Twitter or is my friend on Facebook knows, I’ve been having a bit of an odd obsession lately.Â And that obsession is with rock candy.Â Really, though, don’t blame me.Â You can thank Kristine.Â It was this post that did it.Â I saw that rock candy (on a very adorable cake, by the way) and suddenly it was all I could think about.

Rock candy rock candy rock candyrockcandyrockcandy.Â I’m sure it was very annoying.Â (In fact, apparently more than one of my sister’s friends saw my FB status updates and kept saying FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU PLEASE GET YOUR SISTER SOME ROCK CANDY.)

As it turns out, there is unfortunately no rock candy to be had in the town where I live.Â At least not that I could find, and believe me when I say I carted poor AE all around town one day in search of it.Â I even went into kitschy Texana-type stores, which I normally avoid like the plague.Â I discovered that the local mall’s candy store is for crap.Â Usually it’s readily available at souvenir shops, and sadly, I simply do not live in a tourist mecca of any kind.Â You can get it at Cracker Barrel, but we don’t have one of those either.Â At least not for another couple of months, and my craving for rock candy was not willing to wait that long.

Some of my friends were all “MAKE IT YOURSELF!Â You can do it!”

Spoiler alert:Â No.Â I cannot.Â But I did try.Â And while I’m on the subject, should you ever lose your mind (like me) and decide that you need rock candy RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I will let you in on a little secret (that you probably know already if you have taken a science class at about a 3rd grade level).Â Rock candy takes a while to form.Â It’s like a science experiment, and you have to let it sit for at least a day so all the little crystals can…well, crystallize, I guess.Â Anyway.Â Homemade rock candy = not an endeavor for the impatient.

Step 1: Make sure you have all necessary ingredients (sugar, water, corn syrup, and food coloring if desired) on hand.Â Check.Â Also, wine.Â Check check.Â Heat until the sugar dissolves.

Step 2: Put your weird cooling jar/string/dowel rod/pencil contraption whatzit out of the way, someplace where it can sit for a couple of days while the crystals supposedly form on the strings.Â (Which in this case, means in front of liquor non-cabinet in far corner of kitchen.)

Step 3: Pour the hot, sugary, colored goo into your glasses to crystallize (or make your husband do it, as I did).Â As it turns out, you need some sort of weight on the ends of the strings otherwise they just float up.Â Lesson learned, after a few stressful moments of rigging them with part of a binder clip, for lack of anything better.

Step 4: Uncertainty sets in but as it turns out, sugar crystals do not.

Step 5: Wait a few days.Â Admit defeat, cut your losses, and go visit your sister, who lives in the nearest metropolitan area where there are actual decent candy stores that carry rock candy.Â Locate one of these candy shops with your iPhone, and go buy some freaking rock candy in what will probably be the quickest sale ever made by the befuddled store owner, who is used to people browsing his shop for extended periods of time instead of weirdos like you, who march in, grab a package of purple rock candy (the only acceptable color) and bring it to the register inside of fifteen seconds, while your sister is trying to convince you to buy more than one package because for the love of all that is good and holy, she doesn’t ever want to hear about your need for rock candy for the rest of her life, she’s warning you.

The end.

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Poltergeist? Or something else?

NonSoccerMom — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:27:58 +0000

Last nightÂ – or technically in the wee hours this morning if you’re going for full accuracy – I was awakened by a sudden cry from Miss T.Â The baby monitor was turned up a little too loud so even though she didn’t need intervention, it was too late.Â I was already awake.

(Brief tangent – I’m always impressed that these days I’m so easily awakened by one single baby yelp.Â I used to be such a heavy sleeper that I couldn’t even wake up to an alarm.Â My mom would call me on exam days my freshman year of college because it was entirely likely that I would turn off the alarm in my sleep and completely miss my test.Â And in high school she used to have to throw cold water on me to get me out of bed.)

(Brief tangent #2, confidential to Val – Bong bong Rita.)

So anyway, I was lying there awake, listening to the sounds of a toddler snoring over the monitor, when a fairly loud clicking sound began.Â Very rhythmic clicking, like a metronome.Â It clicked for about two minutes or so, then stopped.Â I did not hear it again.

I’ve been thinking about it all day, and for the life of me I cannot figure out what in the bloody hell could have been making that noise.Â At the time, my groggy mind reasoned that it was her rainforest music thing.Â It has a couple of different settings, one of which moves the animals up and down.Â We just leave it on the music-only setting because the lights and motion are very distracting, but Miss T has recently figured out where the switches are.Â So in the middle of the night I convinced myself that the clicking must be the animals moving.Â But when I checked on it today, it was exactly as it should have been.Â Nothing had been changed.

N was the one to get Miss T out of her crib this morning, so I asked him if anything had been amiss.Â No, he said, everything seemed normal.Â I’m not sure what I was expecting him to find, but something had to have been making that sound.

Now it tasks me.Â WTF was that?Â It wasn’t Miss T banging on the crib unless she is some sort of rhythmic savant.Â The sound was too uniform.Â There isn’t a metronome anywhere in our house as far as I know.Â There certainly isn’t one in Miss T’s room.Â The only other possibility I can think of is this thing.Â It makes a similar sound when it is turned on.Â WHICH IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

Something hinky is afoot.Â It just better not be a poltergeist.Â There’s simply no extra room in this house.Â We’re full, thanks very much.

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Preparations. Or not.

NonSoccerMom — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:59:15 +0000

I took today off work so that I can pack, straighten up the house, and deposit Miss T with my parents.Â However, for the last several days I’ve been lamenting how hard it will be to get anything done with her underfoot.Â Folding laundry is a near-impossible task with her around to “help”, and she pulls out so many toys I would never get things cleaned up.Â Not to mention the nightmare that would be loading up the car. Â Then right before I left work yesterday, I was chatting with (read: giving instructions to.Â Hi, Clark W. Griswold!!) a coworker and suddenly I had a realization – just because I took the day off doesn’t mean the daycare is closed, idiot!Â TAKE HER TO SCHOOL.Â GOD.Â In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson, I am so smart, S-M-R-T.

Even though we don’t leave on our vacation until tomorrow morning, obviously my brain checked out yesterday.

And today, I am having a hard time getting motivated to do anything.Â So I am writing this instead of doing laundry or packing or anything else that would actually be productive.Â But in my defense, I can’t pack my clothes because N hasn’t yet given me the weather report for our destination.Â I could be packing Miss T’s clothes/toys/various accoutrements, or doing the dishes in the sink, or even taking the dog to the kennel but um, I’m not.Â FAIL.Â I always do this right before a trip, it’s like I’m subconsciously trying to make the pre-trip excitement and anticipation go as far as possible.

Okay, really.Â I have got to get off my ass and do something.Â Anything!Â I know!Â I’ll go buy a couple of iTunes gift cards and get my iPod ready for the flight.

I’ll probably try and post from the airport tomorrow morning to reveal the destination.Â (Because I am sure you are all on pins and needles.Â Or maybe that is just me.)Â Stay tuned…

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Every topic under the sun? CHECK.

NonSoccerMom — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:45:24 +0000

Oh, THANK GOD IT IS MONDAY.Â I am not even kidding.Â AE has been out of town so much this summer it had been a while since we had to wrangle both children at home all weekend long.Â GAH.Â AE bounces around continuously, and since becoming accustomed to playing Wii at my in-laws house he now uses all video game controllers in that fashion (not that he’s ever been able to sit quietly while playing but it is about 2000% worse now).Â He very nearly clubbed his sister upside the head while playing Monkeyball golf on our GameCube then moments later nearly got me.Â However, I now have a secret weapon.Â It is amazing how capable he was of sitting still after I yelled If you can’t learn to control yourself we will NEVER get a Wii!!Â Heh.

*****

DidÂ anyone watchÂ the men’s 4 x 100 swimming relay last night?Â Was that not the most awesome win ever?Â Go Team USA!!Â I was about to go to bed but decided I could spare a few more minutes and I am so glad I did.

I must admit to being a little bit disappointed in our women’s gymnastics team, though.Â They were having a rough go of it for sure, but maybe things will improve.Â I hope.Â Â Speaking of gymnastics, I will be cheering on Oksana Chusovitina.Â Any 33-year-old who can still hang in a sport dominated by teenagers is someone I can get on board with.Â This is her fifth time at the Olympics, which is totally unheard of for a female gymnast!Â Amazing.

*****

My sister says that she has gotten her computer back from the repair shop, so maybe now she can start her blog.Â ENTERTAIN ME NOW.Â No more procrastinating or excuses!

*****

Miss T was rather on the crabby side yesterday (since she still refuses toÂ abide byÂ normal human sleep patterns) so in a desperate attempt to make the time pass we went to Walmart (desperate times call for really incredibly desperate measures).Â While thereÂ weÂ decided to search again forÂ these primary composition notebooks that AE has to have for kindergarten.Â I had never in my life seen or heard of these things.Â They are blank at the top of each page and have those special wide lines at the bottom.Â You know, the kind with the dashes that supposedly helps kids learn to write correctly?Â (Do they still call that D’Nealian?Â So weird.)

MY GOD, those things are hard to find!Â We had heard that they were always the most challenging item on the school supply list and that was not an exaggeration.Â The first time we tried Walmart, no luck.Â We asked a passing employee who confirmed that yes, they do carry them but were currently out.Â And yes, there would be another shipment but he didn’t know when or how many.Â Evidently they come in some sort of magical secret shipment that can’t be tracked or something, I didn’t reallyÂ catch the explanation because all I heard was These are going to be a monumental pain in the ass for you to find and we’re pretty much the only place that carries them and therefore we feel no need to make it easier on you.Â Sucker.Â

Since our initial attempt at Walmart, we tried several other stores.Â No dice.Â Then during our unplanned time-waster trip yesterday we decided to look one more time.Â And happened to find 4 of them, partially obscured on a random shelf nowhere near the school supply aisle.Â SCORE.Â He needs two for this year and two for first grade so I will never have to look for the damn things again.Â OH WAIT.Â I have another kid.Â CRAP.

Before I leave thisÂ fascinating subject, I have one more gripe with the Primary Composition Notebook of Doom.Â Regular old-fashioned composition notebooks = $0.50 each.Â One PCNoD = $2.44.Â OF COURSE.

*****

I’ve been looking around for some sort of inexpensive activity table for Miss T.Â (She is a crazy standing fool, that one.Â At 7.5 months old she’sÂ already standing without support for several seconds at a time.)Â I didn’t want to pay much and found something doable at the local kids’ consignment store on Saturday.Â It’s a Playskool Air-Tivity tableÂ (missing almost allÂ of the pieces, unfortunately), which they don’t make anymore.Â Probably because they are LOUD andÂ freaked outÂ one too many kids back in 2002.Â I only know that’s when the Air-tivity line was introduced because when AE was a baby he had an Air-Tivity Stacker which scared the ever-loving shit out of him.Â It’s a good idea in theory – air wooshes up through the toy and makes parts of it spin and whirl – but in reality the battery-operated fan is way too loud.Â It terrified AE so much that the only way he would get near it was with the batteries removed.

I only mention this as an example of the fundamental difference in my kids’ personalities.Â I cleaned the table up and replaced the batteries, and as soon as I turned it on Miss T got all excited.Â She happily stood at it, chattering and squealing withÂ glee while the table wooshed air and played music loudly.Â AE, on the other hand, eyed it suspiciously from across the room,Â clearlyÂ not appreciating the noise.Â What is that thing, he asked warily.Â He continued to keep an eye on it all afternoon, startling from time to time when Miss T would re-activate the fan.Â His father and I found the whole thing quite amusing.Â It continues to amaze me how two children from the same parents can be so different.

*****

I got a wild hair Saturday afternoon and decided to clear out one of the cabinets under my bathroom counter.Â It’s the one where I’ve been keeping extra toiletries and bars of hotel soap.Â OMG, hotel soap.Â I think I may have a problem.Â Someone should stage an intervention, because in that cabinet I found AT LEAST 100 different bars of hotel soap that I have collected over the years (seriously, I found a bar with the Carnival Cruise Line logo.Â We last cruised Carnival for our honeymoon.Â In 2001.)Â Â There were alsoÂ zillions of bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner.Â And body lotion, sewing kits, shoe shineÂ kitsÂ (WTF.Â WHY AM I SAVING SHOE SHINE KITS), bath salts and even mouthwash.Â What is wrong with me?Â Even after throwing out everything that had obviously gone bad, I still have an entire bin full of the stuff.Â Why do I save it if I am never going to use it?Â I officially have enough bars of soap to last me the rest of my life.Â It is clearly some sort of hoarding compulsion.Â I’m probably the reason hotel roomsÂ are so expensive, because I hide all the free stuff in my bag each day so that the cleaning staff will put out more.Â So that I can take it all home and hide it under my bathroom counter where it can stay until it goes bad and has to be thrown out.Â Am a crazy person.Â SEND HELP.

*****

The McDonald’s near my office is in the process of adding a McCafe so they are giving away free samples, a different kind of coffee every day.Â On Friday I asked for the sample, and was rewarded with a full-sized iced latte.Â I couldn’t believe that they actually intended to give me the regular size as the free sample, so I assumed it was a mistake.Â Apparently not because when I asked for the sample today I received a full-sized caramel cappuccino.Â FREE COFFEE = AWESOME.Â

This post brought to you by the letter C for caffeine.

The post Every topic under the sun? CHECK. first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

In which my sanity comes into question

NonSoccerMom — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:59:14 +0000

Verdict:Â LAME

So today was the day of my scheduled jury duty.Â And I did not get picked.Â Bummer.Â I was juror #322, though, so I can’t say that it was a huge surprise they didn’t get to my name on the list.Â On the plus side, it didn’t take very long for them to dismiss us and IÂ was able to donateÂ my $6 payment to a local charity.Â (Brief tangent:Â I was puzzled by theÂ “I don’t want to be paid” checkbox.Â I understand not caring about the paltry $6, but what asshats areÂ checking THAT box instead of choosing one of the threeÂ charities given asÂ options just below?)Â Also, now I don’t have to worry about it interfering with our plan to leave early for San Antonio on Friday.Â Which brings me to:

NonSoccerMom is a selfish brat, item number 28457 of 4 million or so:

N hurt his back over the weekend, and I can’t help but feel frustrated with him.Â BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON.Â After all, if he is miserable and can’t get around this weekend then it affects ME.Â I’ve been looking forward to this trip for months, and now there’s a dark cloud hanging over it!Â Man, I am such a bitch sometimes.Â The good news is that he just got back from the doctor with prescriptions for muscle relaxers and vicodin.Â So even if I have to push him around San Antonio in a wheelchair, at least he’ll be happy about it!

All babies want to get borned

N and I watched Juno last night (probably the only people left in the world who hadn’t seen it yet), and we both really enjoyed it.Â Afterwards he was wondering what the point was, and what I got out of it was that everyone has a little growing up to do.Â Coming-of-age, I guess.Â It had a great cast, Allison Janney, J.K. Simmons, Jason Bateman.Â Ellen Page was adorably spunkyÂ as Juno, IÂ absolutelyÂ loved her.Â Jennifer Garner’sÂ character Vanessa wasn’t as perky as I had expected, but she of course did a great job.Â Â This was definitely anÂ off-beat darkish comedy, but I thought it wasÂ heartwarming and I teared up in a few places.Â I HATED the music, though – way too quirky for me.Â Other than that it was great, sweet but not sappy, dark but not depressing.Â I highly recommend.

Release the Kraken!

The other night I had an incredibly vivid and bizarre dream.Â I was with some of my high school girlfriends on a cruise.Â Which was really a fishing boat.Â We were in the middle of the ocean at night when suddenly a terrible wave capsized us, a la The Perfect Storm.Â Quickly we realized that it wasn’t a weather front but a giant sea creature that was dragging the boat down.Â It looked like one of those colossal squids but was black and extremely squishy.Â (Actually, real-life squids are probably pretty squishy, but this was emphasized in my dream for some reason.Â It was REALLY squishy.Â Like Floam.)Â So anyway, once the squishy squid-monster dragged us down to the depths, suddenly things changed and we were inside an underwater resort.Â It kind of reminded me of (NERD ALERT) the Gungans’ underwater city in Star Wars:Â Episode I – The Phantom Menace.Â Everything was enclosed in a giant bubble.Â ANYHOW, then we encountered my friend Allyson, who was getting a massage and listening to her iPod.Â Then there was something about an underwater football game, but I’m unclear as to the final resolution since Miss T managed to wake me up right about then.Â Moral of the story:Â I should not eat Frosted Mini Wheats right before bed.Â Holy cow.

Not exactly the luck o’the Irish

It has come to my attention that the company operating Bennigan’s Grill and Tavern has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and as of today, all Bennigan’s locations are closed for good.Â This timing is interesting, as BB and I had discovered just yesterday that our location offered $1 beers Monday – Thursdays.Â We had added it to the list of places where we can get our drinks on the cheap!Â Plus they had a turkey sandwich on a pretzel-thing that was pretty damn good.Â *sigh*

And while we’re on the subject of luck

I purchased these very Lean Pockets at the grocery store just last week.Â I haven’t bought any sort of Hot Pocket product in a couple of years at least, but I thought this new flavor looked appealing so I decided to give them another go.Â SON OF A BITCH.

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