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The world of academia – a Moscow perspective

NonSoccerMom — Tue, 02 May 2017 20:08:00 +0000

Last week I had the amazing opportunity to participate in an exchange program which took me to Moscow. People, let me tell you: I never imagined that working in university research administration could provide such amazing travel opportunities. I was selected as a participant in the Eurasia Foundation US-Russia Social Expertise Exchange program,Â and they sponsored my travel to Russia.

I’ve been working in this field since April of 2004, and what better way to celebrate my lucky 13th anniversary than taking a trip halfway around the globe? I was paired up with a fellow research administrator and exchange participant from UMass, and together we headed off for Moscow on Saturday, April 22. We arrived late Sunday afternoon, settled into the hotel and by Monday morning, we were ready to meet Konstantin, our contact/translator for the week.

With my travel buddy, Kim

We were visiting the Moscow School of Social and Economic Sciences (MSSES), which has a joint relationship with the Russian Presidential Academy of National Economy and Public Administration (RANEPA). The relationship between the two institutions is complex and overlapping, and required a complicated flowchart drawn byÂ Konstantin. Honestly, it’s such a complex scenario I’m still not sure I understand but basically: MSSES is a private institution, RANEPA is state-funded, and several of the departments have overlapping sections within each separate university.

Building 9 on the MSSES/RANEPA campus – our temporary office location

Over the course of the week, we had meetings with several staff and faculty members involved with the research enterprise at both MSSES and RANEPA, and we also had the chance to meet with the supervisor of the international department at the Russian Foundation for Humanities. The conversations brought to light both the similarities and differences – and challenges faced – by researchers and administrators in Russia and the United States. Some things were surprising, but others not so much. I guess that seemingly needless bureaucracy and administrative tedium are constants no matter where you are.

We had a couple of very productive meetings with some staff who often get pulled into helping faculty researchers with various aspects of grant management. They had a lot of questions about how it works at American institutions, especially related to internal tracking and the software used by our institutions to monitor grant proposals and awards. It was a really great opportunity to give pointers and explain a few things that may make their jobs easier.

I’m still sorting through my notes and impressions – there was so much conversation and information that it felt like a massive data download. And I’ll plan to get another post up soon that has more pictures of the overall travel experience. Moscow is a beautiful city, and I’m still kind of in shock that I had the opportunity to expand my professional knowledge and experience in such an amazing setting. I’m so glad I took a chance and applied for this exchange program and hope that the connections and contacts I made will continue into the future and prove to be as mutually beneficial as I think they can be.

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the US-Russia Social Expertise Exchange or Eurasia Foundation.

Krista, Konstantin and Kim at MSSES

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Updates (Title! Such creative! So exciting!)

NonSoccerMom — Thu, 06 Apr 2017 03:56:14 +0000

I guess I’m back to posting sporadically, which is presumably better than not posting at all. I suppose so, anyway. Even though I really enjoy writing, I find there isn’t much of interest going on in my day-to-day life. At least not much of anything that I could write about in a way to be interesting to others. So in lieu of a totally cohesive story for this post, I’ll just run through a few update-y type things that have happened recently.

My 14-year-old son Lex was assigned toÂ his top choice of high school. I don’t know if I’ve ever written about the craziness of the school system here (I did a cursory search of my old posts and didn’t find anything, so maybe not), but it’s essentially a lottery system for kindergarten and 9th grade. We moved here when he was going into 4th grade, and I was lucky enough to land him a spot in an awesome elementary school. Total dumb beginner’s luck that worked in our favor twice, since he was going into 5th grade there when we needed to get Misty into kindergarten. There’s no way we would have gotten her into that highly-desirable school without the sibling preference weighting factor in the K lottery. Middle school was no big deal, as they actually assign those based on the closest elementary. My point? This is the first time that we’ve truly dealt with the SFUSD lottery assignment process. We toured different schools, he took the required admission test for one of the options, we talked about what order to list our preferences in. One grade-based school requires you to enroll thereÂ if you put it as first choice and get accepted; the others aren’t grade-based admission but there’s also no way to weight your chances at acceptance. It’s a lengthy, stressful process that culminated in a delay on receiving the assignment letters in mid-March due to an error by the school district. In the end, he was assigned to the school he put first on the list, and now I have a small idea of what the college application process looks like from a parent’s perspective. All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
I have accepted a new job. Same university, similar role, but in a central administration office rather than one of the individual schools. A lateral move for now, but with more opportunities down the line. I hadÂ several reasons for considering the position (I was essentially recruited – or, as a coworker likes to say, “poached”), some of which would require a password-protected post, but the main thing is that this will get me back into a part of the job that I really enjoy. I’m really looking forward to it, and will start in my new role on May 8 because of something else that I’m about to mention. There! That was a lot of words to not say much at all.
So, even though I was offered the new job in mid-March, my last day at my current job isn’t until May 5. That’s because I was selected into a US/Europe exchange program and if all goes well, I’ll be in Moscow later this month. I’d give more details, but I don’t really have any. I filled out the visa application and sent off my passport, so now I have A) no passport B) no plane tickets C) no visa D) no idea where I’m staying E) no firm travel dates and F) no clue when I’ll know any of this. The program staff are all very chill about the whole thing and they do this all the time, so I’m trying not to freak out. But theoretically I’m leaving in less than two weeks and since I refuse to do any packing or preparation until I have plane and hotel reservations in hand…it could be a photo finish, is what I’m saying.

So there you have it. I’d say I’ll try to update more regularly, but I think we all know that’s a lie.

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This week, in summary

NonSoccerMom — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 23:27:04 +0000

It has been a week, let me tell you. For everyone, it seems. Here’s an overview, as told in a series of (slightly edited) email excerpts between my sister and me. As you’ll see, our conversations span a wide variety of extremely important topics.

***

Monday

Sher: I was in some kind of FUNK this weekend.Â I was so rude & all over the place in spurts this weekend with J.Â I think he was scared. My hormones were just out of whack or something- I mean, I could SEE and HEAR myself being crazy but I Just. Couldnâ€t. STOP. I explained it to him, but he is a dude so I think he was just confused.Â To tell the truth, I was confused too.Â No idea what that was.

Me: Hahaha, it happens. Heâ€ll get used to it, Iâ€m sure. As my own husband puts it (oh so eloquently): Women be crazy.

Tuesday

Me: Figuring out summer camp options for Lex is a NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMARE. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Sher: So what are the options?Â I will pick for you.

Me: Well letâ€s see. We have the $$ options at N’s work â€“ the only ones of which Iâ€m willing to pay for he probably wonâ€t be that interested in (Cooking camp, anyone?). There is a much cheaper option at the park across from our house, but it only runs from 9-3 each day and if they wonâ€t allow him to leave without being picked up by a parent, that isnâ€t really reasonable (if he can just walk back across the street to the house, we trust him to be there for a few hours alone until one of us can get home). There are all kinds of awesome-looking sleep-away options, but most of them are $$$$$ and the ones that arenâ€t appear to be catering primarily to inner-city kids. I found one reasonable option that includes lunch and actually runs from 9-5 each day (which is the closest to a full work day we can get, it seems) but it would take 45 minutes to get to each day by bus, not to mention the time to get back to work afterwards. Airfare is still more than Iâ€m willing to pay because they havenâ€t run a good summer deal yet, AND I discovered that thereâ€s a $100 surcharge for unaccompanied minors so it wonâ€t be as cheap to fly him to Texas as Iâ€d hoped. I donâ€t suppose YOU have a couple weeks off this summer to come stay with us and watch him. Iâ€m so frustrated and overwhelmed, Iâ€m about ready to beg Mom to come stay the entire summer.

Wednesday

Sher: So the accounting supervisor was just a real asshole to me on the phone for no reason & I am still seething.Â And the best part is that the situation includes my crazy coworker so when she gets back from the doctor, the supervisor will probably tell her a skewed version of the story (you know, the crazy woman interpretation) and then crazy woman will come down to me and be all crazy. LOTS OF CRAZY GOING ON. OH OH and yesterday, crazy woman pulled this: I was on my lunch break, but took it at my desk instead of leaving the office like I normally do so I could watch the SNL from Saturday with Justin Timberlake.Â But still at lunch- not â€œoutâ€, but not taking calls, not doing work. I had everything minimized on my screen except the hulu page with SNL playing.Â I was leaning back in my chair with headphones in my ears watching it. That would indicate â€œHey I am not at work.Â It is 12:45 so most likely I am on my lunch break.â€ to most people.Â And to us here, our lunch breaks are sacred because we need the time to unwind and clear our heads so we can do our stressful jobs.Â She comes into my cubicle while this is taking place, starts talking about work.Â So I have to pause what I am watching, take my headphones out and turn around to look at her dumbfounded â€œSorry, I am at lunch right now- can this wait?â€ To which she makes an annoyed sound & says â€œOh I didnâ€t know you were at lunch.Â I guess it can wait.â€Â HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW I WAS AT LUNCH!?!?!Â WHY WOULD I BE WATCHING A TV SHOW ON MY COMPUTER, NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT, IF I WAS WORKING?!?!?!Â I wanted to punch her.Â Bitches be CRAZY.

Me: The lunch thing is SO annoying. People just assume if you are sitting there youâ€re working. Happens to me ALL THE TIME. I was lifting a forkful of food to my mouth yesterday when someone came in and goes â€œYou at lunch?â€ SIIIIIIIIIIGH. It makes me think of Bill Engvall. â€œHereâ€s your sign.â€

Thursday

Me: OMG, last night’s Psych was not so great at all. I was highly annoyed. I really despise â€œdocumentary footageâ€-type episodes of shows anyway (Supernatural did one this season also and I was similarly displeased) but ugh, Psych just really didnâ€t bring it with that one. We chuckled at a few parts but mostly I didnâ€t think it was too funny. Fingers crossed for next week!

Sher: Oh I am totally with you on â€œdocumentary styleâ€ filming.Â I hate it.Â If it isnâ€t making me sick to my stomach, it is just annoying me. I really need to go home.Â We are going to a concert tonight- some a cappella group J loves.Â I didnâ€t have to pay for my ticket because a friend last minute couldnâ€t go & just wanted someone to use it.Â The group is pretty good, so it should be fun.Â But it would be more fun if they would just perform in front of me while I sit on my couch at home in pajama pants. <- OLD.

Friday

Me: How was the concert? I left early yesterday because I just havenâ€t felt great all week (stomach is funky and Iâ€m so tired) but I ended up working my ass off from home all afternoon (which was even more work than it would have been from work, because of stupid computer issues and lack of dual monitors). So now Iâ€m still tired, and Iâ€m incredibly cranky on top of it because COME. ON. ONE AFTERNOON. ONE. THAT IS ALL I ASK. I feel as though Iâ€m dangerously close to having a screaming tantrum, like a toddler. EVERYBODY LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONâ€T CARE WHAT YOU NEED, OR WHAT YOU WANT ME TO LOOK AT, OR WHO HURT YOUR FEELINGS OR WHAT. I DONâ€T. JUST BACK THE EFF OFF BEFORE I BITE YOU.

Sher: OMG TODAY HAS BEEN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST.Â I literally just got bitched out on the phone by a crazy person for no reason.Â She wouldnâ€t talk to me & then said she was either going to talk to someone else or she would cancel the order.Â I transferred her and she told my coworker she never wanted to talk to â€œthat womanâ€ again!Â I wish I could give you a play by play of that phone conversation.Â My coworkers heard my end & were like, You were so nice I donâ€t understand why she was yelling at you!!Â OMGÂ Â I WANT ALL THE WINE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. And it looks like you are having as grand of a day as I am.Â TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

So, yeah. Happy Friday – hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

The post This week, in summary first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

Obligatory post-trip update

NonSoccerMom — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 22:56:48 +0000

Okay, so I got back from Qatar on November 3. Â Sue me, okay? You read this blog, you get what you pay for.

Anyhow. Â Qatar, yes. Â A couple of coworkers and I were sent to our campus in Doha to meet with some researchers face-to-face prior to a big proposal deadline. Â And I am here to tell you that lo, it was awesome.

First of all, I love air travel. Â I don’t really care about the destination as long as it involves taking a plane. Â I love everything about it. Â Waking up early to get to the airport. Â Searching for a magazine at an over-priced newsstand. Â Hauling ass through the terminal to make a connection. Â I don’t even mind taking off my shoes and pulling out my laptop to get through security. Â I just really enjoy the entire experience, especially the actual flight. Â There’s nothing quite like knowing you have absolutely nowhere else to be, so you may as well relax and enjoy the ride. Â (And the free champagne.)

Now. Â That being said, it turns out that around hour ten of an international flight is when I start to get restless and starting thinking things like OH MY GOD this flight will never END and I am going to be ON THIS PLANE for the rest of my LIFE. Â Because at that point we still had over five hours to go and well, that can start to feel a little dire. Â When you have enough time to watch SEVEN ENTIRE MOVIES on one flight, you know it is a long one.

But we did eventually land, although it was in Dubai and we had to make a connection into Doha from there. Â Fortunately that flight was only an hour and we were literally the only people in business class (HELLS YEAH, business class, BTW – I definitely would have died had I been stuck in coach for fifteen hours) so it wasn’t bad at all.

And upon leaving the airport, I immediately decided that I love Doha even more than air travel. Â While I do realize that it can get up to a horrifying 120 degrees in the summer, the weather is merely pleasantly warm this time of year. Â Everything is clean and shiny new (SO MUCH construction – there are cranes in the background of almost every photo), the people are pleasant and overall it was a phenomenal experience. Â Doha is a very international city. Â Only about 20% of the residents are native Qatari, everyone else is an expat. Â Australia, Britain, the US, you name it and someone of that nationality lives in Doha. Â Arabic is the official language but English is very widely spoken so there’s no trouble whatsoever in terms of getting around. Â Not even for this central Texas gal.

Okay, enough blathering. Â On to the photos! Â You can find the full set here, should you be interested in such things.

So to sum up: Â Doha = AWESOME. Â Air travel = also awesome, though admittedly less so after 15 hours on a single flight. Â Whether you’re in business class or not.

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Eyeballs, etc.

NonSoccerMom — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 03:33:57 +0000

LASIK update

Y’all.Â Y’ALL.Â I had several people tell me how awesome it is, how I would wish I’d done it years ago.Â And guess what?Â I TOTALLY WISH I’D DONE IT YEARS AGO.Â In addition to the cost (which is admittedly substantial), I was mostly worried about silly things, like being required to keep my eyes closed for 4 hours after the procedure (not a problem, thanks to the Xanax AND Valium they gave me beforehand, ZZZ) having to keep up with multiple sets of eye drops, and being able to see well enough to drive myself back home (90 miles) by the next day.Â But in the end, none of that was a big deal at all (well, except the money but WORTH IT).

I may sound like a cheesy-ass ad but seriously.Â I’ve worn contacts for 25 years, glasses for a couple of years beyond that.Â I walked into that operating room unable to see the big E without corrective lenses.Â I had high myopia and required about a -7.5 corrective diopter to see, at best, 20/30-ish.Â My vision was about 20/400 uncorrected.Â That is not good.Â Impressive in its crappiness, actually, especially when you consider it’s been that bad since I was about 10 years old.

But now I see 20/15 in both eyes.Â Better than “normal” visual acuity of 20/20.Â I can’t even begin to tell you how cool it is to open my eyes in the morning and SEE.Â EVERYTHING.Â I can see in the shower!Â I can fall asleep to the TV without worrying about my glasses!Â I’ve never known what that was like.

It is AWESOME.

Tiny Little Smartass

I believe I’ve mentioned how Misty/Miss T (am still trying to give these new names a chance, perhaps it would be easier if I wrote more often) is cute but evil.Â In yet another example of the child’s disturbing cleverness, yesterday N was playing Wii so that she could watch.Â But then she got tired of Super Mario 3.

Misty:Â I want to play a different game.Â I want to play a different game.

N:Â [says nothing; continues to play]

Misty:Â I want to play a different game.Â I want to play a different game.

N:Â [still says nothing; continues playing]

Misty:Â I want to play a different game.Â I want to play a different game!Â I! Want! To! Play! A! Different! Game!

Me: [in the kitchen, unsure as to whether N is purposely ignoring her or is so deep in the zone that he truly doesn’t hear, but either way I am slowly being driven crazy whether he is or not]Â MISTY.Â That is ENOUGH.Â We HEAR YOU.

Misty:Â But I want to play a different game.Â I want to play a different game!Â I want to play a different game!

Me:Â Say it again.Â Say it ONE MORE TIME, and you’ll sit in time out.Â [meaningful glare]

Misty:Â [sweetly and deliberately]Â Daddy, can you please put in another game?

A New Purchase

Though I did love my BMW X5 and for the most part I enjoyed owning and driving it, we decided to let it go and get something a bit more practical.Â We’d had the X5 in the shop no less than four times since purchasing it a year ago, and between the constant threat of major mechanical problems and ever-rising gas costs, it began to feel rather like an albatross.

So we took it down to the local Toyota dealership and they offered us a good deal.Â Now we’re rocking a 2011 Prius.Â It isn’t flashy, it isn’t fast, but it is a smooth, dependable ride and quite frankly the potential gas savings make me a little weak in the knees.

N and I plan to trade off driving it, but I’ve been back behind the wheel of our old faithful 4Runner for a couple days now and honestly, I’m completely fine with that.Â I loved that 4Runner from the second I got behind the wheel for a test drive back in October of 2001 and there was a part of me that always felt I’d betrayed it by buying the X5 in the first place.

It might sound silly, but now I think we’ve returned to the natural order of things.Â I belong behind the wheel of that old stellar blue pearl (NOT PURPLE) 4Runner, not a snobby, stuffy, tank-like X5.Â Turns out I wasn’t much of a BMW gal after all.

Cubicle Farms

I’ve been working in my current cube for 3 years now and while I’m generally not bothered by ambient office noise, the lack of privacy provided by 5.5-foot walls does get irritating.Â Particularly when I’m in the midst of a deadline or trying to work on a complex budget.Â My cube also happens to be at the end of a row at a rather high-traffic area, so people are walking back and forth all day long.

But a week from tomorrow, all that changes.Â Because I’m moving into a new cubicle.Â And it has eight-foot walls and a sliding door with frosted privacy glass.Â A DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR.Â With a lock even!Â I am so excited!

There’s also a ton more desk space, lots of storage and several magnetic dry-erase boards.

Oh, and did I mention the door?Â This new cubicle has a door.

(Seriously!Â A DOOR!!)

The End

You’ve reached it.

The post Eyeballs, etc. first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

FIRE!*

NonSoccerMom — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 15:26:01 +0000

It’s been so long since I posted here that I forgot how to log in.Â Well, in the interest of full disclosure: the blog redesign took the admin link off my home page and I didn’t know the web address to get in through the back door so N had to text it to me from Florida.Â Ahem.

Anyhow, I’ve been surviving as a single parent for the last several days while my husband is off playing local celebrity.Â And quite frankly, I am exhausted.Â I have a deep, profound respect for people who do this all the time because I am simply wiped out.Â Miss T is…high energy, to say the least.Â I could turn my back on toddler AE for whole minutes at a time without fear that he’d mortally injure himself or one of the pets.Â Not so much with the little one, not to mention her propensity for running away and/or thrashing wildly when she doesn’t want to go somewhere or do something I’ve asked.Â Parenting her at this age is very physical, is what I’m saying.Â I need a nap.

I don’t really have anything of huge interest to report, just busy as usual. Let’s see…

I made 100 on my first statistics test (whee!) and if the posted grade distribution is any indication I was one of just a few to destroy the curve.Â Sorry, online classmates that I will never meet!Â (But not really, because 100, bitches!)

I have decided that N and I need to take a vacation this summer in celebration of our 10th (!) anniversary, so I’ve been searching for one that meets my very specific qualifications of A) passport required and B) tropical locale.Â We’ll see what happens – N’s not really enamored ofÂ the beach (and truth be told, I hate sand too but want to go someplace warm) and I don’t want to spend a ton of money, but we’ve got a bunch of airline miles saved up so that should give us some flexibility.Â Plus, N is a master of finding awesome travel deals so I’m hopeful that we’ll find something fun without breaking the bank.

Miss T is still working on certain aspects of potty training, and I am attempting to bribe her.Â If she poops in the potty instead of her pants, she’ll get a sticker.Â If she saves up five stickers, I’ll buy her a new My Little Pony.Â I have little to no faith that this will actually work, but it certainly can’t make things worse.

Evidently there was broccoli of questionable decency in the veggie tray I bought for my office Food Day on Friday, and as soon as the tray was opened we all nearly died of the stench.Â I took it outside and threw it into the grass almost immediately but it was too late.Â In what can only be described as Broccoligate, the smell had already permeated the entire building and had people talking about “that horrible smell” all day long.Â I am sorry, coworkers, but this is not my fault.Â For once, I actually did NOT buy the “manager’s special” tray with an imminent expiration date.Â That broccoli should have been good at least through the weekend, so I refuse to claim responsibility for this.Â Of course, that doesn’t matter because now I am the office pariah, known only as “the woman who brought the disgusting broccoli and nearly gassed us all”.Â Lucky me.

AE was picked as “Kid of the Week” for his after-school program, so that means he gets to go have lunch at a local restaurant with some of his counselors on Wednesday.Â He’s pretty excited about it, and I’m very proud of him.Â When I picked him up on Friday they told me how much they enjoy kids like AE – quiet, respectful and obedient.Â Nice to know that at least one of my kids can be described with those words.

I’m supposed to have jury duty tomorrow, and I am really hoping that when I call tonight the automated courthouse voice tells me that I don’t have to come.Â Â Last time I had it, I was forced to make the 20-minute drive then stand around for over an hour before being dismissed.Â Not that either of those things is a huge inconvenience but quite frankly, if I am going to be dismissed anyway then I’d rather save myself the trouble.

My birthday is in less than 3 weeks, so maybe I should bring my “stuff I want” page up-to-date…you know, in case anyone wants to buy me things.Â Particularly shiny ones.

*Not really (and I am pleased to report that I have successfully toasted at least five items in a row without flames), but I once read somewhere that screaming FIRE! is the best way to garner attention.Â So there you go.

The post FIRE!* first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

A conversation with Miss T

NonSoccerMom — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 02:13:45 +0000

Subtitled: This is what they’re teaching in the three-year-old class?

Sub-subtitled: Anatomy 101, for those who are in need of a refresher course*

Tonight we were doing the usual pre-bath routine – the one where I wait for what seems like an eternity for Miss T to…finish her business.Â We’ve found it speeds the process if you engage her in conversation as a distraction, so that’s what I was attempting to do when she floored me with some newly obtained knowledge:

Miss T: Boys don’t go poop.

Me: What?!Â Yes they do.

Miss T: No they don’t.

Me: [continuing my fine mothering tradition of asking stupid questions to which I don’t really want the answer] What makes you say that boys don’t poop?

Miss T: They don’t have a hole!

Me: …

Miss T: They don’t have a hole so they don’t go poop.

Me: I…wow.Â Just…gah.Â That’s not right at all.Â Where did you hear that?Â You’re only three!!Â Believe me, boys do go poop.

Miss T: No.

Me: Trust me on this one, kid.Â They have a hole.Â And they definitely poop.

Miss T: They have a hole?

Me: [wondering when, exactly, it was that my life came to this point] Yes.Â Yes, they do.

Miss T: [impressed] Boys poop?

Me: Everyone poops.

Miss T: [awed] Everyone poops?!

Me: Everyone.Â Tell your friends.Â Wait, maybe not.

Miss T: [utterly amazed] Boys poop.

Me: Can you just get in the bath now please?

*One time I had a coworker ask me – apropos of nothing and in all seriousness – how our bodies “know” to poop out of one hole and pee out of another.Â After staring at her in open shock for several seconds, I stammered out a basic lesson on the inner workings of the human body.Â She nodded thoughtfully, obviously satisfied with my answer, and walked away as though we’d been casually discussing the weather.Â It was quite possibly the most bizarre encounter I’ve had in my entire life.

The post A conversation with Miss T first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

Today’s headlines

NonSoccerMom — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 00:12:30 +0000

I’d like to say that I have a really good reason for not posting in three weeks, but that would be a lie.Â Actually, I had figured I’d have grad school to blame for any sporadic posting these days.Â This is not really the case.Â So far, my classes seem to be going well.Â There’s lots of reading, to be sure, but I’ve always been a fast reader.Â Not to mention it’s remarkably easier to wade through a textbook when you’re actually interested in the subject matter – something I didn’t realize as an undergrad.Â Anyway, so far, so good (although we may have to revisit this topic when I actually have grades back for my first two assignments).

But that’s boring.Â On to more interesting things!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

For the first time in a really long time, I had occasion to go see the Aggies play football.Â I may live in town, but honestly can’t remember the last time I went to a game.Â It may have been my senior year – many, many moons ago.Â More moons than I actually care to discuss.Â But the opportunity presented itself, so go I did.Â My sister and her boyfriend came into town too, and we had a lot of fun.Â It helped that the game started at 6 p.m., so it wasn’t 385734098 billion degrees outside, which was really best for all involved.Â Being hot and sweaty makes me cranky.

To me, the most awesome part of any Aggie football game is watching the band march.Â Because to be honest, I have some sort of brain deficiency that prevents me from understanding how the game is played.Â (Also, I do not care, which is probably most of the problem.)Â But nothing – absolutely NOTHING – beats our band.Â Greatest thing ever, hands down.Â Makes those ridiculously expensive tickets worth every penny.

Fine, I see how it is

Today at work we were getting a pretty awesome thunderstorm courtesy of Tropical Storm Hermine, when suddenly my section’s zone proctor (yes) (don’t ask) announced that we were under a tornado warning and it was time to shelter in our designated area.Â Since the last time we had a similar situation I got my ass handed to me for moving too slowly (in what is now known around the office as The Great Fire Drill Debacle of 2010) (again, do not ask), you can bet that I was the first one out of my cube and down the hall.

However, I must say:Â WTF, Workplace?Â Why is the designated shelter area for Zone 4 the only one without four walls and a door, not to mention the only one in FULL VIEW of the floor-to-ceiling windows that make up our building’s exterior walls?Â The only conclusion I can reach is that those of us unfortunate souls zoned to this group are considered expendable by upper management.Â And here I thought I was a valuable employee.

We’re so proud

I picked AE up from school this afternoon and he greeted me with Very Exciting News!

AE: Guess what?!Â I lost another tooth today!

Me: That’s great!

AE: Yeah, it fell out during the tornado warning when I bit David on the butt.

Me: …

AE: [laughing hysterically]

Me: Um.Â I’m not sure I really want to know, but why did you bite David on the butt?

AE: Well, we were playing this game where we were pretending to be dogs and-

Me: STOP.Â JUST STOP RIGHT THERE.

AE: [laughing hysterically]

Me: So did you tell your teacher what caused you to lose a tooth?

AE: [stops laughing]Â No, I figured I better leave that part out.

Me: Good call.

The post Today’s headlines first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

The things I do

NonSoccerMom — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 00:37:28 +0000

Hello from Providence, Rhode Island!Â I’ve been here since Monday evening, attending a work conference.Â I won’t bore you with the conference details, but I was the single person chosen from my office to attend.Â (Because it was my turn.Â But still – yay for me!)

I’ve never been to Rhode Island before, and in fact haven’t spent a lot of time in New England at all, so this has actually been a fun experience for me (hours of meetings notwithstanding.Â But in all honesty, even the meetings weren’t bad – it’s nice to talk shop with colleagues from other institutions, you know?Â ANYWAY).Â I hit it off with a woman from Buffalo, and we ended up going out to dinner last night with a group of ladies from the Boston area (one of whom was a transplant from Ireland, so her accent was extra-fun).Â It seems that quite a few of the conference attendees are from Boston and the surrounding areas, and I love listening to them talk.Â I’m sure they probably feel the same way about me because try as I may, “y’all” keeps flying out of my mouth far more often than it normally would.

I’ve had excellent New England clam chowder, scallops that were among the best I’ve ever had, and a fabulous shrimp pasta.Â The seafood options alone make coming here worthwhile, is what I’m saying.

I spent a pleasant (if surprisingly warm) afternoon walking around town taking pictures after the conference ended today.Â Â I had a very nice chat with the poor lonely park ranger at Roger Williams National Memorial, and he gave me the scoop on where to go and what to see.Â Providence is pretty small, and I was able to cover a lot of ground in just a few hours.Â There are tons of gorgeous Colonial-era buildings, and an impressive amount of hills.Â So in addition to a crash lesson in Rhode Island history, I was able to get in my daily workout at the same time.

The one downside of the trip (other than being lonely – I’d be having way more fun if N had been able to come) has been the complete lack of internet access in my hotel room.Â N swears, the nicer the hotel, the crappier the internet service.Â That seems to hold true here – it’s $9.95/day to get access in the rooms, and it isn’t wireless.Â And OF COURSE the cable they provide doesn’t work with my computer.Â So if you would like to know where I am sitting to bring this post to you – that would be the hotel lobby, where there IS free wi-fi.Â I swear, the sacrifices I make for you people.

Here – since I’m already making sacrifices, enjoy some photos.Â They were taken with my iPhone (the only camera I brought), and I had to e-mail each one to myself individually because the phone cable is back in my room.Â You are welcome.

The post The things I do first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

I really need for this week to be over

NonSoccerMom — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 01:58:06 +0000

Dear County Constable Officer:

I owe you a sincere thanks for not ticketing my dumb ass as it sped merrily through a 45 mph work zone at 60 miles an hour.Â While, um, talking on my cell phone.Â I deserved that ticket and we both knew it.Â Although to be honest, I’m just glad you didn’t clock me five minutes before, when I was flying low at nearly 90.

However, you were kind enough to make me a deal:Â if I listened to your brief lecture on the dangers of speeding – especially through construction areas – you’d let me off with a written warning.Â This time.

And that, my good sir, is the best deal I’ve been offered in quite a while.

Thanks again, A grateful new law-abiding citizen

*****

Dear Professor Old:

I’m trying to help you.Â Really I am.Â However, I have to admit that I’m getting a little frustrated.Â We’re talking in circles here.

I told you that I’ll take care of getting the letter that you need.Â I promise, I will.Â That’s part of my job.Â And I guarantee that I will get it signed by our authorized organization representative, a person who is also known as an AOR.

But here’s the thing.Â You keep tossing around “AOR”, constantly, in every single e-mail that you send, and to quote Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word, and I do not think it means what you think it means.Â Yet you continue to emphasize the necessity.Â It’s really the priority at this point, you e-mailed me, to get the AOR.

And while I’d love to oblige, something tells me that my boss may object to being gotten.Â As I’ve tried to explain, the AOR is a person.Â You can get the AOR’s signature.Â You can get the AOR a cup of coffee.Â However, you cannot get the AOR.

We won’t even discuss the convoluted manner in which you’re approaching your budget preparation, or the fact that I don’t have a clue how to submit your proposal in the first place.Â But none of that matters anyway, because as you’ve pointed out repeatedly – the main thing is just to get the AOR.

Best of luck, NonSoccerMom

*****

Dear Cat:

If you don’t shut your face, I’ll be forced to shut it for you.Â Just a gentle word of warning.Â FTLOG.

Thanks much, Your incredibly disgruntled owner

*****

Dear Miss T:

I love you dearly, you know that, so I just need to throw this out there:

It is really, really embarrassing when I’m carrying you into a public place for you to have your arms wrapped around my neck while loudly yelling, “I want my Mommy!Â I want my Mommy!”

Love, YOUR MOTHER

The post I really need for this week to be over first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.