NonSoccerMom.com

The world of academia – a Moscow perspective

NonSoccerMom — Tue, 02 May 2017 20:08:00 +0000

Last week I had the amazing opportunity to participate in an exchange program which took me to Moscow. People, let me tell you: I never imagined that working in university research administration could provide such amazing travel opportunities. I was selected as a participant in the Eurasia Foundation US-Russia Social Expertise Exchange program,Â and they sponsored my travel to Russia.

I’ve been working in this field since April of 2004, and what better way to celebrate my lucky 13th anniversary than taking a trip halfway around the globe? I was paired up with a fellow research administrator and exchange participant from UMass, and together we headed off for Moscow on Saturday, April 22. We arrived late Sunday afternoon, settled into the hotel and by Monday morning, we were ready to meet Konstantin, our contact/translator for the week.

With my travel buddy, Kim

We were visiting the Moscow School of Social and Economic Sciences (MSSES), which has a joint relationship with the Russian Presidential Academy of National Economy and Public Administration (RANEPA). The relationship between the two institutions is complex and overlapping, and required a complicated flowchart drawn byÂ Konstantin. Honestly, it’s such a complex scenario I’m still not sure I understand but basically: MSSES is a private institution, RANEPA is state-funded, and several of the departments have overlapping sections within each separate university.

Building 9 on the MSSES/RANEPA campus – our temporary office location

Over the course of the week, we had meetings with several staff and faculty members involved with the research enterprise at both MSSES and RANEPA, and we also had the chance to meet with the supervisor of the international department at the Russian Foundation for Humanities. The conversations brought to light both the similarities and differences – and challenges faced – by researchers and administrators in Russia and the United States. Some things were surprising, but others not so much. I guess that seemingly needless bureaucracy and administrative tedium are constants no matter where you are.

We had a couple of very productive meetings with some staff who often get pulled into helping faculty researchers with various aspects of grant management. They had a lot of questions about how it works at American institutions, especially related to internal tracking and the software used by our institutions to monitor grant proposals and awards. It was a really great opportunity to give pointers and explain a few things that may make their jobs easier.

I’m still sorting through my notes and impressions – there was so much conversation and information that it felt like a massive data download. And I’ll plan to get another post up soon that has more pictures of the overall travel experience. Moscow is a beautiful city, and I’m still kind of in shock that I had the opportunity to expand my professional knowledge and experience in such an amazing setting. I’m so glad I took a chance and applied for this exchange program and hope that the connections and contacts I made will continue into the future and prove to be as mutually beneficial as I think they can be.

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the US-Russia Social Expertise Exchange or Eurasia Foundation.

Krista, Konstantin and Kim at MSSES

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Updates (Title! Such creative! So exciting!)

NonSoccerMom — Thu, 06 Apr 2017 03:56:14 +0000

I guess I’m back to posting sporadically, which is presumably better than not posting at all. I suppose so, anyway. Even though I really enjoy writing, I find there isn’t much of interest going on in my day-to-day life. At least not much of anything that I could write about in a way to be interesting to others. So in lieu of a totally cohesive story for this post, I’ll just run through a few update-y type things that have happened recently.

My 14-year-old son Lex was assigned toÂ his top choice of high school. I don’t know if I’ve ever written about the craziness of the school system here (I did a cursory search of my old posts and didn’t find anything, so maybe not), but it’s essentially a lottery system for kindergarten and 9th grade. We moved here when he was going into 4th grade, and I was lucky enough to land him a spot in an awesome elementary school. Total dumb beginner’s luck that worked in our favor twice, since he was going into 5th grade there when we needed to get Misty into kindergarten. There’s no way we would have gotten her into that highly-desirable school without the sibling preference weighting factor in the K lottery. Middle school was no big deal, as they actually assign those based on the closest elementary. My point? This is the first time that we’ve truly dealt with the SFUSD lottery assignment process. We toured different schools, he took the required admission test for one of the options, we talked about what order to list our preferences in. One grade-based school requires you to enroll thereÂ if you put it as first choice and get accepted; the others aren’t grade-based admission but there’s also no way to weight your chances at acceptance. It’s a lengthy, stressful process that culminated in a delay on receiving the assignment letters in mid-March due to an error by the school district. In the end, he was assigned to the school he put first on the list, and now I have a small idea of what the college application process looks like from a parent’s perspective. All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
I have accepted a new job. Same university, similar role, but in a central administration office rather than one of the individual schools. A lateral move for now, but with more opportunities down the line. I hadÂ several reasons for considering the position (I was essentially recruited – or, as a coworker likes to say, “poached”), some of which would require a password-protected post, but the main thing is that this will get me back into a part of the job that I really enjoy. I’m really looking forward to it, and will start in my new role on May 8 because of something else that I’m about to mention. There! That was a lot of words to not say much at all.
So, even though I was offered the new job in mid-March, my last day at my current job isn’t until May 5. That’s because I was selected into a US/Europe exchange program and if all goes well, I’ll be in Moscow later this month. I’d give more details, but I don’t really have any. I filled out the visa application and sent off my passport, so now I have A) no passport B) no plane tickets C) no visa D) no idea where I’m staying E) no firm travel dates and F) no clue when I’ll know any of this. The program staff are all very chill about the whole thing and they do this all the time, so I’m trying not to freak out. But theoretically I’m leaving in less than two weeks and since I refuse to do any packing or preparation until I have plane and hotel reservations in hand…it could be a photo finish, is what I’m saying.

So there you have it. I’d say I’ll try to update more regularly, but I think we all know that’s a lie.

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Why it matters

NonSoccerMom — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 05:34:34 +0000

On Saturday I took my 9 year old daughter down to San Francisco’s Civic Center to participate in the Women’s March. I knew there would be tens of thousands of people there. I knew it would be cold and rainy and the 9yo was unlikely to last the entire time. So why did I bother? Why does it matter? There are a lot of articles out there already, and many of them are written far more eloquently than I could ever manage.

ThisÂ one in particular sums up my feelings fairly accurately. Yes, by comparison to other countries, women in America have things pretty good. Particularly, it must be noted, middle class white women like myself. I understand my privilege. And yet.

My 14 year old son is safer walking alone on the streets than his mother. In certain situations I worry far less about his safety than I would about my own. Currently he’s right about my size – possibly slightly taller than my 5’8″ but not much. We stand eye-to-eye and are probably within 10 pounds weight-wise. However. Simply by virtue of being a young man, he is safer on American streets than a 37 year old woman. Of this I have no doubt. He doesn’t need to carry mace or keep his keys at the ready. He doesn’t worry about taking a wrong turn and ending up in a dark alley alone at night. And I guarantee you that when he wears headphones on the street, he doesn’t give a second thought to who may be walking up behind him. He’s tall and strong and clearly no longer a child. No one is going to try and grab him. Certainly he is at very low risk of being raped.

Will my daughter be able to take the bus alone at the same age? Our neighborhood is safe. Her school is in an equally safe neighborhood, and there is a direct, generally quiet bus route between them. But she’s a girl. And I can guarantee you that even once she’s a teen I won’t feel as comfortable letting her wander the city alone. It’s not fair. When the time comes, she’ll no doubt point that out. But in our society, women simply aren’t as safe. We aren’t equal. Not in this. And not in countless other ways.

When I was in college, my car needed a belt replaced. Nothing major at all, so just a matter of taking it to the local dealership to get it fixed. Should have been simple. But after an initial visit where the focus was clearly upselling (“you need to also get this done! and also this! and all these other things that were fine when your car was checked out 3 months ago but are suddenly horribly wrong!”) I decided to take a male friend back with me. And wouldn’t you know – suddenly it was no problem to just fix the minor issue I’d requested in the first place.

Do I feel inequality in my daily life? Â Not generally. I work in a field dominated by women, in the unique bubble of academia. I live and work in one of the most politically liberal areas of the country. I make good money and I recognize that I’m fairly well insulated from income inequality and harassment in the workplace. I’m lucky in that way.

But I can also recognize that a lot of women aren’t. This isn’t just about me, or women with whom I share socioeconomic status.Â It’s about all of us. Trans women, lesbians, minority women, women who work in the (many) fields still dominated by men. All of these women face challenges of which I cannot conceive.

We may not want to admit that inequalities still exist, but they do. Maybe not for you. Maybe not for me. But for our neighbors and friends. For marginalized groups who face an uphill battle in so many aspects of their lives.

I want to teach my children the importance of standing up for what’s right, even if it doesn’t affect them personally. Maybe it doesn’t in this moment, but it could someday. Even if it doesn’t ever affect them at all, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t care. Look at where a lack of ability to empathize with our neighbors has gotten us.

So that’s why it matters. It matters for them. It matters for my daughter and for her future. It matters for all of us.

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2016 in review

NonSoccerMom — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 04:18:44 +0000

I’m still trying to get back into regular writing (and my sweet husband got me a shiny new Chromebook for Christmas and now I have no excuses) so what better way to do that then an easy Q&A? I’ve done this one at least a few times before but not for 2015 because lazy. Anyway, here we go.

1. What did you do in 2016 that youâ€d never done before?

Went through the high school application process with my 8th grader. Went to a concert (Metallica!) at AT&T Park. Took a family vacation to Europe. Presented at a national conference for work. Attended (and presented at) a conference in Maui.Â Took part in a nationally-released photo project.

2. Did you keep your New Yearâ€s resolutions, and will you make more?

I didn’t make any resolutions (as per usual) and no, not planning on making any.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! My little sister gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. I love her so.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Not this year.

5. Â What countries did you visit?

Greece, Malta, Italy, France, Turkey and Spain. We went on a 10-day cruise through the Mediterranean and it was GLORIOUS. Our flights also took us through SwedenÂ but I don’t count that as a “visit” since it was just a passport stamp and sitting in the airport.

6. Â What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

A solid career track. My job is going well and it’s perfect for where I am in my life, but it’s somewhat lacking in a path for professional growth and I’d like to have a clear plan.

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched in your memory, and why?

April 11, when my sweet little niece was born. The end of June/early July, when we were on our cruise. November 8, when I realized with horror what our nation had done.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I established my worth in a new job, earning a good reputation and the respect of a challenging group of personalities. Also, taking on a train wreck of a work project and turning it into something respectable, despite my limited knowledge and experience in that particular aspect of my job.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I allowed my emotions and frustration to get the better of me and walked out of a heated meeting with my boss. (I apologized. It’s all fine now.)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had a health situation in October that got out of hand because I tried to ignore it. Nothing life-threatening or anything, but it was incredibly miserable. Lesson learned: go to the doctor BEFORE pain becomes all-consuming.

11. Â What was the best thing you bought?

The cruise.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Rent. The aforementioned cruise. And as always, the federal government and the state of California. I shake my fist at you, taxes.

13. Â What did you get really excited about?

I think planning and preparing for our family vacation was almost as fun as the trip itself. I love the anticipation.

14. What song will always remind you of 2016?

Disturbed’s version of “The Sound of Silence” even though that came out in 2015. I listened to it a LOT and it is hauntingly wonderful. Adele’s “Hello” because they played it on the radio sooooooo muuuuuuuch.

15. Compared to last year are you: Richer or poorer? Thinner or fatter? Happier or sadder?

RicherÂ on paper, but somehow expenses always seem to expand in relation to any additional funds. No real change in my sizeÂ but man, my personal happiness has taken a real nosedive since the election. The next four years are going to be rough.

16. What do you wish youâ€d done more of?

Exercising, especially since I have free access to multiple campus gyms.

17. What do you wish youâ€d done less of?

Getting worked up and stressed out about the election campaign. I had convinced myself it was okay for me to get really immersed in all of the horribleness, thinking that awful excuse for a man would never win. I thought the high levels of stress would be temporary and I’d be over it once we got past election night. I was devastatingly wrong.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

In Texas with the family.

19. What was your favorite TV show?

Supernatural, again (still). The most recent season of American Horror Story (the Roanoke one) was pretty good. Entertaining, at least. I’m really enjoying the new Lethal Weapon series, and surprisingly the new MacGyver too. Didn’t think that one would win me over.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

For someone who commutes via train, I don’t really read as many books as I probably should. I did read The Light Between Oceans, which was very good. Finally read The Exorcist and enjoyed it, though not as much as the movie. I’m currently working on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which is good so far (I started it in 2016 so it counts).

21. Favorite music?

Metallica dropped a new album for the first time in ages so that’s the clear winner. Really though, I just love music. I choose my playlist depending on mood, normally – I have a heavy metal list, a list of upbeat, fast-paced stuff, and a list I’ve named angst/ennui. That one got a lot of use in 2016,

22. Favorite films?

Rogue OneÂ was really good.Â I also enjoyed Star Trek: Beyond.

23. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

It was a Saturday, so the family and I hung out at home mostly. I turned 37.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being able to retire and live out the rest of my life on a well-appointed yacht, without a care in the world. This will consistently beÂ my answer to this particular question, always and forever.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Dark skinny jeans.Â Converse. Infinity scarves. Second verse, same as the first.

26. What kept you sane?

Music. Wine. Family. Same as always.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.

Sometimes you have to suck it up and apologize for the sake of diplomacy even if you aren’t sorry.

The post 2016 in review first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

Thankfulness

NonSoccerMom — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 23:15:15 +0000

It’s harder this year. Isn’t it? The world – and especially our country – is changing and sometimes that seems scary and overwhelming, and I don’t know about anyone else but I’m having a hard time with thankfulness of late. So I’m going to do a little something I’ve done before (no links, because lazy and also no one is reading anyway) and list out things that I’m thankful for right now. Family, health, etc. are a given, so this is really about the little things. It’s easy to lose sight of those, especially when the big picture seems so bleak. So! *brisk clap* Here we go.

I’m thankful for living somewhere with mild weather pretty much year round.

I’m also thankful for a landlord that gets involved when we ask him to but leaves us alone the rest of the time.

AÂ job that doesn’t make me miserable (and is even enjoyable some of the time). And for a flexible dress code that allows me to get away with wearing jeans pretty much whenever.

TheÂ new Metallica album that dropped earlier this month.

New pink Converse.

A nearby consignment store where I can often score things like mint condition 7 For All Mankind jeans.

Living in a city where I have limitless food delivery options, so that I can order whatever I want from the comfort of my living room.

Having older kids that both sleep through the night and help with household chores.

That my 8yo has discovered the new version of MacGyver and snuggles up on the couch with me to watch and discuss.

Hot apple cider with a splash (okay, sometimes more than a splash) of rum.

A nearby hair salon with awesome Yelp ratings, reasonable prices and ONLINE APPOINTMENT BOOKING (whether I am thankful for the results will be determined Saturday.)

Old episodes of Supernatural and Burn Notice, which I can watch a million times over without ever getting sick of them.

Ditto Escape From New York, my absolute favorite movie of all time.

Having the means and the vacation time to visit family in Texas for the holidays.

Wine. Always, always wine.

The post Thankfulness first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

This cannot be real life

NonSoccerMom — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 20:22:12 +0000

It’s been weeks now since the election and I’m still not over it. I don’t know that I ever will be. Beyond the obvious heartbreak that this country apparently would rather have a racist, bigoted, misogynistic blowhard reality TV star in our highest office than a woman with a normal amount of political scandals in her past, I just wake up every day horrified anew. It’s like the Twilight Zone. It looks relatively like the life I used to have, the America I knew, but clearly it isn’t.

Neo-Nazis are being selected to some of the highest positions in the land. Phone calls with world leaders are happening off the record. Evidently there will be limited access by and virtually no transparency with the press . Oh, but there will be closed meetings with high-profile press members, in which our president-elect will rant about pictures showing his double chin. All the while, he isÂ still tweeting insults and complaints like a child. He’s threatening freedom of speech. Immigrants and people of color and Muslims are scared for their futures. So is the LGBTQ community, and rightfully so. This should not happen. It is 2016 in America, a country founded on and known for its freedoms. What is happening to us? We’re going backwards. This is horrifying. I can’t even link to all the articles and tweets and news fromÂ the last few weeks because there’s too much. Not to mention the numerous conflicts of interest, because it seems that Trump is not going to back away from his business dealings as he should. Plus his apparent refusal to live in the White House full time, thereby costing taxpayers more money to protect him in New York. Oh, and his daughter Ivanka is attending transition meetings with world leaders for even more appalling conflicts of interest. I just. It’s too much. How is this happening?

I am aware that there was a large contingent of Trump voters who voted for him solely on the basis of anti-establishment. They wanted him in office to shake things up. To get away from traditional politics and really make a change. But is this what they intended? Are there Trump voters out there watching all of this unfold with the same horror I feel? For the future of our country, I certainly hope so. I have to believe they’re realizing the depth of their mistake. Not that it excuses voting for a childish man that is soÂ obviously racist and uncaring of basic human and civil rights, but I know from personal experience that not all Trump voters are deplorable. Some of them are very good people, and though I will never agree with their choice in this matter, I have to believe that they truly didn’t think they were enabling the Neo-Nazis to take over this country. And yet.

I don’t even know what the point of this post is. I just needed a place to rant and put my feelings somewhere in more than 140 character snippets. So here it is. If things keep going as they are, there will probably be more at some point. In the meantime, hang in there America. We’ll get through this. We have to. Because there isn’t an alternative.

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A (very) few thoughts on this election

NonSoccerMom — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 22:59:18 +0000

Less than three weeks, guys. Like 19 days or something at this point.Â We can do this. We can survive this election.

Honestly, I’ve always been sort of a lazy voter. I’ve rarely bothered with local elections at all, because I don’t usually keep up with the issues and don’t want to vote if I’m uninformed. I did vote in the 2000 presidential election, the first one I was old enough for, but then I skipped 2004 because I was largely indifferent (look, I had a toddler and a new job and I was a little busy). I voted for ObamaÂ in 2008 and 2012 and, well, here we are.

All that to say: I have paid more attention to this election campaign than I have to all the others in my life combined. Â It is crazy and horrifying and yet I can’t seem to look away. Anyone who follows me on twitter has been inundated with my opinion for months now. I’ve been blasting out my frustration in 140-character snippets but that isn’t enough. I just have far too much to say, and even though I never write here anymore (seriously, it’s been almost two years…oops) I had to say my piece…or at least part of it. My husband, as usual, wrote something far more eloquent and fact-filled than I could ever hope to, and I strongly recommend that you head on over to his blog to check that out.

At any rate, here are my thoughts on one aspect of this circus sideshow:

Trump isn’t just an asshole. I mean, he IS an asshole, but he’s a lot of other things too. And none of them are good. I truly believe with every fiber of my being that there is not one good bone in that man’s body. He’s awful. Truly, truly just an awful person. My problems with this man are myriad (he’s infantile and a liar and a bigot to start) and I could probably write a thousand-page novel on the subject, but I don’t have time to write that, you don’t have time to read it and so for now there’s just one thing about Trump andÂ his joke of a campaign that I really want to focus on.

He isÂ completely, utterly disrespectful of women. You don’t even have to believe that he assaulted all the women who’ve accused him (though I do). All you need to do is look at the video evidence. He’s been caught on tape innumerable times talking inappropriately about Ivanka (ew) and rating women’s looks…not to mention the Billy Bush debacle. (Quick aside for a gentle reminder: Forcing yourself on an unwilling person is sexual assault. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your position is, if you grab another human by the privates against their will, you are assaulting them. It’s that simple.) I mean, come on, he’s using a woman’s looks in defending himself against the allegations by saying things like “Have you seen her? I don’t think so.” Who says that? Certainly not anyone who views women as equal human beings, but instead someone who views them merely as items to be desired – or not, dependent entirely on their looks. It’s very clear that he can only view women in light of their attractiveness. If you haven’t seen the Hillary Clinton ad that is simply just a compilation of his words, you need to watch it. Here. I’ll wait.

Now. Think about your daughters. Your granddaughters. If you are a woman, think about yourself. How would it make you feel if those demeaning words were directed at you? Would you be okay with it if a man called you a fat ugly pig? If he said that to your daughter? Would you be willing to just write those words off? I doubt that very much. And even if you were able to just let it go, you would probably never look at that man in the same way ever again. Here we have a man willing to say such things to women publicly, on live TV and in recorded interviews, and we’re expected to elect him into and then give him the respect due of the highest office in the country? I don’t think so. Not a chance.

Think about your sons and grandsons, and imagine them saying any of those things to a female classmate. Or a female coworker. Or a family member. If I caught my son saying ANY of the phrases in that very short video, I would subject him to a lecture on respect the likes of which he would never forget. If my husband ever said anything like that to me our marriage would be over. Full stop. There’s absolutely no excuse. None.

To me, just the fact that Trump’s knee-jerk response is always “NO ONE IS MORE RESPECTFUL OF WOMEN THAN ME” is very telling. Last night’s debate audience laughed out loud, it was such a preposterous statement. We all have seen him – numerous times – making disrespectful statements about women on live TV, so just by making such a grand statement in direct contradiction to previous behaviorÂ he’s insulting everyone’s intelligence. We see you, Donald Trump, and we’re calling you on your bullshit. Â

We won’t even talk about his “nasty woman” comment last night, and the fact that he stalked Hillary onstage like a predator during the second debate.

It’s not just words. It’s never just words. It’s not locker room talk, and it is not normal or acceptable. If you’re voting for Trump because he “tells it like it is” then you need to think about what exactly he’s telling us with these hurtful, demeaning words. Don’t tell me that Hillary is just as bad, or that Trump is just blowing hot air and the words don’t mean anything.Â Casting a vote for Donald Trump excuses his behavior. Whether you can admit it to yourself or not, it does.

Voting for TrumpÂ normalizes devaluation and disrespect of women.

It endorsesÂ rape culture.

It does nothing to promote women’s rights and equality in our society, and in fact is a vote against them.

It certainly is not going to makeÂ this country a better, saferÂ place for our daughters.

It sends a message to our sons that treating women like second-class citizens is okay.

And casting a vote for Donald Trump may very well may be hurting someone you love.

The post A (very) few thoughts on this election first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

2014 in review

NonSoccerMom — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 04:29:08 +0000

Technically I guess I should have done this on December 31, but I didn’t get around to it so better late than never. (Never seems to have mostly been the theme around here lately. Ahem.) Anyway,Â I used to really enjoy doing this year-end wrap-up post every year, so here it is.

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

Experienced an earthquake. Went to a movie sing-a-long (Frozen) at the Castro Theatre. Visited theÂ Point Bonita Lighthouse. Sat in club level seats at a GiantsÂ game. Went to a minor league baseball game. Became the parent of a middle schooler. Visited Lake Tahoe (highly recommend) and Reno (not so much). Attended a conference in Washington, D.C. I’m sure lots of other things too – it has been a busy year!

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more?

No, I generally don’t make resolutions because they inevitably lead to disappointment and feelings of failure. And also I have the memory capabilities of a goldfish so I’d probably forget them before I could accomplish anything anyway!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

One of my best friends from high schoolÂ had an adorable (and tiny!) baby girl. I finally met her at two months old…and she was still 7 ounces shy of how much my daughter weighed AT BIRTH.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thankfully.

5. Â What countries did you visit?

None this year, but next year I’ll finally have something fun to report for this question!

6. Â What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

Endless cash flow. Wouldn’t we all? No, seriously – I’d like to feel really fulfilled in and excited by my job. I’m very good at what I do but sometimes it’s less than personally fulfilling.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched in your memory, and why?

Hmm. See above re: goldfish memory.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I don’t really think I’ve achieved anything too huge this year. It’s been a long, tough year at work full of both minor achievements and minor failures but nothing that really stands out. In my personal lifeÂ I think it has mostly been status quo.

9. What was your biggest failure?

At work I rearranged some staff assignments without first checking in with the client base which caused a HUGE kerfuffle.Â The client reactionÂ totally took me by surprise and I was able to damage control, but lesson learned. Never again!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major. Sinus and stomach issues here and there, per the usual.

11. Â What was the best thing you bought?

A pair of super-dark, super-stretchy skinny jeans. They keep their shape through multiple wears, are very flattering and extremely comfortable. Also I got them on sale, which basically makes them the perfect purchase.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Rent. The federal government and the state of California, both of whichÂ take an appalling amount of my paycheck each month. Disney got a significant chunk this year as well.

13. Â What did you get really excited about?

Christmas vacation. Going to Disney was so much fun (see #18 below) and I wish that we could do that every year! Also just having two solid weeks away from a stressful job really helped me put things in perspective.

14. What song will always remind you of 2014?

Same answer as my husband – “All of Me” by John Legend, which I actually did like at first but am now quite sick of. Either that, or “Let it Go” from Frozen.

15. Compared to last year are you: Richer or poorer? Thinner or fatter? Happier or sadder?

Richer, at least on paper. No real change in my size or overall happiness levels.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Running and/or going to the gym.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Lamenting what I do not have.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

At DisneyÂ WorldÂ with my family (including parents, sister and brother-in-law). It wasn’t a traditional Christmas but we had a fantastic time! We flew into Orlando Christmas Eve and stayed until the 28th. It was the perfect length and everyone had so much fun.

19. What was your favorite TV show?

Sons of Anarchy, and now it is OVER and I am SAD. I also binge-watched American Horror Story on Netflix and adored season 1, but have lukewarm feelings about Freak Show so I can’t call this an overall favorite. NCIS is still a long-running fave, along with Supernatural and Hawaii 5-0.

20. What were your favorite books of the Â year?

The Fault in Our Stars was so, so good (still need to see the movie!) and I read Marley & Me during Christmas and really enjoyed that one too…which I guess has also been made into a movie. Maybe I should watch it too.

21. Favorite music?

I just like music, even the pop hits they play ad nauseum on the local mix station. So I don’t really have a favorite (except Metallica of course. Always Metallica.)

22. Favorite films?

Guardians of the Galaxy was fun. We don’t go to the movies a lot but I’m looking forward to the next Avengers movie.

23. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

Stupidly, I went to work. I don’t plan on making that mistake again this year, although my team softened the blow with a Metallica-themed gift and decorations. I turned 35.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being able to retire and live out the rest of my life on a well-appointed yacht, without a care in the world. This will consistently beÂ my answer to this particular question, always and forever.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Boots and leggings. And lots of cardigans. Also scarves.

26. What kept you sane?

I drink a lot of wine, but that probablyÂ benefits those around me more than anything else.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.

Sometimes personal growth is painful.

The post 2014 in review first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

Here we are

NonSoccerMom — Tue, 16 Dec 2014 05:08:51 +0000

I really do want to get back into blogging, so I guess the best thing to do is just a little free association-type writing…and a few updates.

The Job – is the job. Good days and bad, just like any job. I have a great team and have made some good friends. That is all I’m going to say about that.

The Schools – are great. T is in 1st grade this year (I KNOW) and A is in 6th. So they’re not at the same school anymore…we got to enjoy that for all of one year, but I guess that’s more than we would have in our old district (the elementary only went up to 4th grade there). Anyway, the middle school transition has gone remarkably well for A and I’m very proud of him. And the schools are only 6 blocks apart so it isn’t a big deal – I drop them both off at T’s elementary in the mornings and A walks down to school with his buddies since it starts much later. Easy.

The House – is also great. Total dumb luck that we found a place to meet our needs in a city with such a crazy rental market, but we really enjoy both the neighborhood and the house itself.

The Pets – still alive, annoyingly enough. I’m kidding, sort of, but the dog is old and starting to become incontinent and, well, it’s exactly as fun as it sounds.

The Husband’s Job – is going well, I think. He’s actually on his second job since moving out here and now works at the same university I do, though in a different department and at a different location within the city.

The Holiday Plans – second (third) verse, same as the first. We’re headed back to Texas for two weeks to visit family. But we are going to Disney World starting on Christmas Eve (through T’s birthday) so everyone is very excited about that. It’s what we decided to do with my parents, sister and brother-in-law instead of exchanging gifts and so forth but as I’m sure you can surmise, it isn’t exactly the same cost-wise. Oh well.

So there you have it, in a nutshell and with almost no editing. The state of things, such as they are. I’m back, baby.

The post Here we are first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.

This blog has been dead for almost 2 years but who cares! Let’s talk about Sons of Anarchy!

NonSoccerMom — Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:33:38 +0000

Hi! Obviously it has been *mumble mumble* months since I posted anything, but it’s never too late to revive this poor blog, right? Especially when I have very important things to talk about. Things like Sons of Anarchy. Forget about boring updates on why I haven’t posted lo these many (many) months, I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SONS OF ANARCHY! I have a lot of thoughts and feeeeeelings!!

Spoilers for Red Rose ahoy – consider yourself warned. And if you’re not caught up you’ll be hella confused anyway because I’m just plunging right in. Here we go…

I think I’m struggling more with Unser’s death than anyone else. I mean, all these people are getting slaughtered and he just was the one person that still had some semblance of a moral code in all this. Well, relatively speaking I guess. Anyway, Jax just SHOT him and they made no further reference to him at all, as if he was never even there to begin with. Gemma had it coming (more on that in a minute) but Unser was a plot twist I didn’t see coming. But he obviously knew that Gemma was about to die and Jax made it pretty clear that he wasnt’ messing around and would kill Unser if he stayed. Unser’s motivation has always been his love for Gemma so I guess he figured there was no point to his life anymore with her death. Plus, he’s been dying of stage 4 cancer for 7 seasons anyway, so.

Then there’s Nero. The scene where he and Jax talk about Wendy and the boys going with him to the farm was great. It was very well done – Jax clearly making plans for his fatherless boys because he knows it is almost over for him. Nero has been a phenomenal father figure for poor Jax, who has only ever had Gemma as a consistent parental role model. Anyway, in the end Nero was trying to protect Jax, not Gemma, and now I’m worried about how he’s going to react because what he told Jax is absolutely right: there’s no coming back from killing one’s own mother. But he already knows, I’m sure he does. He’s not stupid, and he’s been in the life for too long to think it could end up any other way. Nero knew exactly what would happen while he was giving Jax that phenomenal speech in the end of Suits of Woe.

Let’s get back to Gemma’s death, while we’re on the subject. Gemma got off easy. Because cutting her off from her grandsons (and what’s left of the club she knew) would be a fate far worse than death. Jax let her off the hook, basically, and she knew it. And Gemma’s final little speech to Jax about did me in. It definitely did him – I can’t believe he was able to pull the trigger. But she manipulated him right up until the final second, giving him that whole bit about “This is who we are.” The entire scene was very well done, even though I felt like I was being beat about the head with Shakespearean symbolism.

Moving on!

I have several burning questions that better be answered in the finale:

1. What is going on with Jax physically?Â At the very beginning of the episode they definitely made a big deal of the fact that his leg gave out when he stood up from the cot. He also appeared to be limping on that leg on and off throughout the episode (although it is hard to tell with him sometimes on account of The Swagger). Has he been poisoned? Is his heart condition going to catch up with him before Mayhem can? Something else entirely? WHAT IS HAPPENING? This is a big one for me. It just has to be something. It has to be. Maybe it’s going to lead to him losing control and going out in a motorcycle crash, dying the same way his old man did. But that doesn’t make a lot of sense, because on a motorcycle you brake with your hands, not your feet (I think). Anyway, my #1 thought is that it has to do with his heart somehow. Wouldn’t it just be like the show to give us all this buildup, thinking Jax is going to go out in a blaze of outlaw glory but in the end, he just dies of a heart attack?

2. What is Nero up to? Again, a big deal was made of him going into the garage at Jax’s house “looking for tools” and generally being all squirrely and then nothing seemed to come of it. Is he plotting to protect Jax somehow? Is he going to avenge what Gemma’s inevitable death? What is he DOING? Or is it a red herring?

3. What did Chucky do? Tig got off the phone when they were meeting with the Irish and said “That was T-M. Chucky did it”. But we never saw anything come of thatÂ either unless I totally missed something. Plus Chucky’s been getting a bit more screen time in the last few episodes so surely that’s another plot point to be wrapped up.

4. What is the deal with the homeless lady? SheÂ showed up at the vending machine before the scene with Milo the trucker (nice cameo by Michael Chiklis, btw) and Gemma. It’s the same lady that we see throughout the series…and now we know she is/was Rat’s girlfriend’s mom. I’d like a little explanation here. Is she a ghost? Just a sad-sack lady who left her former life behind for some reason? Why does she always show up before some major death?

5. What is the “unwritten bylaw” Jax refers to in the scene with the other SOA presidents?Â They specifically cut out to the boys waiting in Red Woody during that part so I know we’ll get back to it next week but I really have no idea what that could be. Jax clearly is planning for his own death at this point (or is that just what Sutter wants us to believe?) so I am assuming he knows the vote will be for Mayhem. Although I am a little unclear on who exactly gets to make this vote (see: much mumbling, talking in some sort of biker lingo), I do think it is SAMCRO. Jax did say he’d make sure they vote the right way.

Surely all of this will get resolved or I am going to be very disappointed. I expect it will be – Sutter doesn’t appear to do ANYTHING randomly or half-assed. Come on, writers. Don’t let me down.

I still can’t believe that Gemma is dead. Just like that. Omg. And also, possibly I am too emotionally invested in this show. Also also, poor Juice. I’m glad he at least got to finish his pie but you know prison pie can’t possibly be that good. What a way to go. Sigh.

The end.

The post This blog has been dead for almost 2 years but who cares! Let’s talk about Sons of Anarchy! first appeared on NonSoccerMom.com.