I’m busy, you guys. Crazy busy at work and I don’t even really know why. It is all a bunch of frustrating super-thinky crap, not usual stuff. It is making my brain hurt so please pardon the fact that this post is even more disjointed than usual.
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Why are both of my children wired to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn every morning? As an infant AE used to wake up FOR THE DAY at 4:30. Miss T wakes up every day right around 5 a.m., but at least she can usually be coaxed back into sleep. Sometimes. Possibly. Seriously, though, neither my husband nor I are morning people so why have we been “blessed” with children that are? I will admit that AE has gotten a lot better and most days can be counted on to sleep until at least 6:30, but we are always pleasantly surprised when he goes past 7 (which ONLY happens during the week. He’s up bright and early on the weekends of course). Also, they are both incredibly terrible nappers (AE gave up his daily nap at 18 months) so there is no make-up there. They just don’t require a lot of sleep, I guess, and that definitely comes from their father because I for one have to have my sleep or I get crabby. So thanks for that, babe.
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I forgot to put on my watch this morning, which makes me feel naked. And the shoes I am wearing make a farting sound when I step on my left foot. Today I am feeling awesomely confident as I walk around my workplace.
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I was having an e-mail conversation with my sister earlier today and somehow we got on the subject of the things people do at the movies. (She and I both have “movie theater box cashier” on our resumes. I have the added bonus of “assistant manager” on mine.)
Let me tell you, people get weird at the movies. A lot of them have a bizarre sense of entitlement, like it is their GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to be at the movies and how dare you tell them that the movie is sold out. The ones who get especially irate about this are the ones who show up to buy their ticket for the big summer blockbuster, 20 minutes after the movie started on opening weekend.
People also get very worked up when you tell them there is no outside food or drink allowed. I know this is a big one, because yes, movie theater food is very expensive. But! If you are going to bring outside food into the movies, at least have the decency to smuggle it. Whoever is working the door is not likely to dig through your bag to look for M&Ms or a bottle of water, but if you come waltzing through with a half-gallon of ice cream plainly visible in your hot little hands expect it to be confiscated. I’m just saying.
People seem baffled by the sold out signs. They will ask “Is the 7:30 show really sold out?” while pointing at the sign that clearly states “The 7:30 show is SOLD OUT”.
Movie-going folk also fancy themselves as terribly clever. For instance, a man will walk up to the window with his wife and say “One adult and one child! HAR HAR HAR!” Where is the joke in this? I never did understand the humor, but I would say it happens at least 3 or 4 times a night.
Sometimes people don’t like the movie. That’s totally fine. Even I don’t like every movie that I see. However, please do not come out of the movie AFTER IT IS OVER and demand a refund because you didn’t like it. That’s like licking your plate clean at a restaurant and then refusing to pay for the food because it tasted horrible. We would give remorse refunds within the first 30 minutes of a movie but if you stayed for the whole thing you bought it, baby.
Please, please, please do not walk up to the box office, point to the overhead sign that contains the showtimes and say “I want two tickets for that movie”. The poor cashier cannot in fact SEE the sign that is placed over her head facing outward for YOUR convenience. Just tell her the name of the movie and the time you want. This saves a lot of frustration for everyone.
One more thing: if you are an underage person trying to score tickets for an R-rated feature, do not assume that the box cashier is either blind and/or an idiot. After she refuses to sell you a ticket, she is watching as you turn away and run out to your mom’s car. She is still watching as Mom comes up to the window and buys tickets for you and your buddies but not herself. The fact that you are trying to look nonchalant off to the side isn’t fooling anyone. The cashier knows those tickets are for you and she will watch as Mom hands them over, then she will call the doorman and have him card your whole group before he tears your tickets. And when you end up back at the box office for either a refund or tickets to a non-R-rated feature, she will laugh at you.
Wow, I kind of got on a roll there. Have a good weekend, and if you go to the movies remember: the box cashier has feelings too. And if she doesn’t laugh at your joke don’t take it personally – it’s just that she’s heard it a thousand times already. 🙂
