Number of separate family celebrations attended: 2

Number of nights I spent sleeping on a slowly-deflating air mattress in my parents’ study: 4

Number of times each night Miss T rolled off her pallet and into the closet doors: 1

Number of Dora the Explorer-themed gifts received by Miss T for either Christmas or birthday: 7

Number of pairs of plastic shoes included in Miss T’s new dress-up playsets: 7

Number of exact duplicate gifts received for either child: 0, shockingly

Number of Christmases that my two grandmothers have celebrated in their whole lives, combined: 184

Number of bottles of wine I received as gifts: 2

Number of family members planning a post-holiday proposal and hopefully engagement: 1

Number of times my mother bitched about her mysterious Christmas tree lighting malfunction: at least 30

Number of Wii games received as gifts by either AE or N: 4

Number of DVD sets of varying TV shows received by me: 4

Number of horrified comments regarding my aunt’s pickled shrimp dinner contribution: 6

Number of 2-mile walks taken through my parents’ neighborhood: 3

Number of current US congressmen/former presidential candidates encountered during one walk: 1

Number of new US senator-elects encountered at the very same time: 1

Number of Little People utilized as extra pawns for my family’s annual post-gift board game: 3

Number of Wii shooting games we gave my father-in-law:  2

Number of 3D movies attended at the IMAX theater in Houston:  1

Number of feature-length 3D movies I have now seen in my entire life:  1

Number of US dollars required to liberate our dog from the kennel upon returning home:  350

Number of times Miss T has been begged to just take the damn paci out of her mouth, already: 45786533208